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Thursday, May 5, 2011

letter for those longing to be mothers

Hey guys.
I asked my sweet friend Kara to write a guest post about/for women longing to be mothers. With Mother's Day looming, my heart hurts thinking of all my friends, who are praying for children, or those who have lost babies, or have anything in their testimony that makes this day really painful.
I know the Lord will not waste your pain because 
He has not ever wasted an ounce of any of His children's pain -
but He will use it for His glory, in His time, in His way. However, I know that doesn't always ease it and I didn't want you to think that the rest of us go blindly through this Sunday, not aching and praying for you. My heart is for you.

here's Kara. She's beautiful and wise. 

Over the last four years, my husband Matt and I have dealt with the diagnosis of unexplained infertility and all the heartache that comes with it. The journey to parenthood has been a roller coaster of hope and despair, faith and doubt. Although we are in the process of adopting a baby domestically, I still have my days of questioning, of “what if’s”, of unprompted bitterness and anger at the circumstances I am in.
And because I long to be a mother, Mother’s Day can be incredibly difficult emotionally – I am surrounded by the reminder that I am not a mommy through advertisements, the flowers, the packed restaurants at lunch, even at our church. Every year as my pastor asks all the mothers to stand and be celebrated, and the applause thunders around me, my heart feels like it’s going to burst from my chest.
I know I am not alone. For every mother, there is another woman longing to be one. There are many like me who sit as the pastor asks for mothers to stand, hot tears pouring down their faces. Maybe they are struggling biologically. Maybe they are waiting for the call from an adoption agency. Maybe they lost a child through miscarriage or some other tragic way.

My heart desperately breaks for those women, and for myself. My heart also honors the sacrifice and work that those mothers have poured out in exchange for a life. Should mothers be celebrated every year in a public way? Absolutely. But that celebration for the childless can be a painful reminder of exclusion and heartache.

I wish that my dream of motherhood had been fulfilled to date, but until then, days like Mother’s Day will have to be endured. God’s desire for me, and for every woman who has this dream, is that we would endure them with faith and hope, with His strength that He provides so willingly to us.

If you long to be a mother and for some unforeseen circumstances are not, my encouragement to you, and to myself, is to focus on this: God loves you so very much. 
I think we forget that our God loves us with a love that cannot be described. It is larger than any of us can fathom. It is more encompassing than our dreams, than our hopes. It is greater than us or anything we could imagine for ourselves. And at the center of that big love is the truth that we have to cling to - God is goodness. His intentions for us are good, pure and true. He does not intend heartache or suffering - He mourns with us and for us.

I do not have any answers as to why some are blessed with the gift of motherhood, and others of us are still waiting in the wings. I believe that our Heavenly Father intends His very best for us, and that His will and timing cannot always be explained. But we are not called to understand His will or timing; we are called to become more like Him. We are called to be salt and light, to be a manifestation of His love in this world and the next, and to be transformed into His image.

 I say this again, God loves you. Cling to your faith, cling to His faithful love, cling to hope which does not disappoint.  I’m believing His goodness for myself and for you.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  - 2 Corinthians  4:16-18

 “But blessed is the woman who trusts in the LORD whose confidence is in him. She will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8


Thank you, Kara. I have loved watching your wisdom, honest, grace, and trust (even if only through the internet) over the last few years. Thanks for letting the Lord get glory from your story, even the harder parts. Ya'll check out her blog here

Love ya'll. 

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