I like emailings with her and reading about her life, and praying for her too.
If I'd know she was going to write about running, and this beautifully, I would've begged her to write a guest post months ago. Forgive me.
Enjoy ya'll, Jess
Running. It is the last thing in the world I thought would make me feel like a woman, like a woman alive. However, that is exactly where I find myself.
I had my third son a couple months ago. You see, I am the lone lady in a house full of the boyest of boys. I don't even have a girl fish. Along with that boy tribe comes noise, dirt, sword fights, wrestling, and all sort of bad guy/good guy play. No hair-braiding and Anne of Green Gables reading in this house.
During his 20 week ultrasound, the technician flippantly announced, "It's a boy!" within a minute of beginning the sonogram. She quickly followed this by, "Is he your first?". I was so stunned by her haste that I just sputtered out, "No...he's our third...boy." Then, I sat in silence for the rest of the exam. My poor husband asked me every 30 seconds if I was excited by this awesome set of events. Three boys! Could you believe our luck?
We walked out to the car and I told him that I was stunned, that I would be very excited once it sunk in, and that he needed to paint my office pink that weekend. For some reason, a pink office where I could hide my breakables until we were empty nesters seemed like the best laid plan. My husband, he's a sweet man...my office was a beautiful shade of blush within days.
However, that office rarely gets used. See, I can't hole myself up in a pink coccoon until my boys turn 18. I need to be there to witness the races, and judge the jumps, and break up the fights. These sweet young men count on me to show them the gentler side of life. I have such a short window to influence their lives. I have realized that I must join their adventures if I wish to have any sort of impact.
So, for the remainder of my pregnancy I looked forward to starting the Couch to 5K program. All of the sudden, I realized...I needed to be strong in mind and body for these boys. I need vitality. I need strength. I want to be able to keep up with them well into my golden years, and that dream takes planning now. So, away I went.
And now...this workout is the most feminine part of my day. I am alone in the world, alone with my thoughts and my God. I am away from the noise, and the wrestling, and the needy little men that love me and need me. I am nourishing myself. I am making sure I am strong and able, so that I can be strong and able to give.
This is a new adventure, one that will morph and change over time. If I've learned one thing about going out on a limb, it is that it never looks as you've imagined. However, it is so worth it. It is worth finding new joys, and learning new things about yourself and the world.
.........
thanks lady. I'm going to go run (femininistically) and think of you.
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