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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

just five things.

If you don’t know this about me yet, I’ve got a confession to make.
I’m a goal setter, list maker, resolution lover like you’ve never met.
It’s just how I function best.
A list for every day, a goal for every endeavor, something measurable to weigh at the end of everything to see how things went. I don’t beat myself up over the tasks undone or the goals unmet but I feel like if I don’t know where I want to go, I’ll never get there.

Well, to be totally honest with y'all, I set no goals for 2012.
I’m not sure if it was the fact that we moved in January or because I just had no idea what to expect from the coming year – but I didn’t write down a single to-do or hope or dream. I think the Lord used that negligence to massively do more than I could ask or imagine and I also think I simultaneously shot myself in the foot by my lack of intentionality.

Influence, the eBook, homeschooling, pastor’s wife, SheReadsTruth, baby#4 – these were all huge facets of 2012 that I couldn’t have planned or purposed. But of course, the flipside is, when they cropped up - my lack of intentionality to balance out the other parts of my life meant that I messed up a little. I rarely rested. I neglected friends. I let people down and I’m not totally proud of the wife, mom, and lady that I was. That isn’t condemnation speaking. I love the grace that the Lord is letting me walk in to try and grow past those mistakes, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are absolutely things I wish had gone differently in 2012.

That being said – I’m still leaving the big goals for 2013 open to the Lord. But I’m asking for His help with 5 simple (or not so simple things) that I want to set my intentions on, no matter what the year brings. They may not be measurable and they're certainly not attainable without His help, but this is where I'm starting. 

#1. I want to walk with the Lord in all the things.
It is very possible for all of us to go about our days and endeavors (even the ones that are about the Lord) without walking with Him. I don’t want to do that. As a wife, mom, writer, blogger, business owner, lady, friend – I want my ear tuned to the Spirit and my eyes on Him. If it’s not about Him, I don’t want to do it. If He’s not in it, I don’t want to do it. I don’t want anyone to be proud of me or the job I do in anything – but I want to be inextricably united with the Lord in all I do.

#2. I want to love people better than I love myself.
Without getting into my own yuck too much, I haven’t done an awesome job at this so far. I couldn’t write a book on how to be the best friend or sister or mama or anything, but I can ask the Lord in every situation – “how can I love your people more than I love myself right now?”. That’s where I’m starting.

#3. I want to use my words.
2012 was a lot about strategy and business and that was good and stretching. In 2013, I’d love to get back to my roots of writing for the sake of communicating things that are itching to get out of me. Even if I don’t blog them, even if no one reads them, I’m owning that the Lord has made me love to write and I want to use my words.

#4. We’re gonna get back to clean living.
Two years ago Jessi who took vitamins and was a vegan and ran half marathons would be a little shocked by this Jessi who sleeps very little and lives off protein bars and boxed mac and cheese. Ok. It’s not that bad. But still – our crazy busy 2012 found me making a lot of sacrifices in the healthiness of our lifestyle and I’d like to undo some of that damage slowly but surely.

#5. I want to be a good team member. 
If it’s Team Connolly with my husband. If it’s Team Girlfriends. If it's Team Gospel Community. If it’s our Influence Team or SheReadsTruth team – I want to know what people need from me and be honest about my ability to meet those expectations. I want to let people know my needs and play fair. I want to cheer on my teammates and be united in our vision and purpose. I’m asking the Lord to help me be a good team member wherever necessary.

And that’s it.
Five simple (or not so simple) things that I’m gonna really need my Father’s help with. 
What about you? 
What are the goals and hopes and dreams for 2013 that you're asking for His help in? 


2 comments:

Angie Hales said...

Thanks for the inspiration for my own list.

Nikkilooch said...

I love these 5 things. Big goals but totally worth going after.

My goals are smaller: run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes, art journal, take a picture everyday.