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Thursday, January 10, 2013

nesting vs. hibernating

hibernating is making me have a thing for watercolor. 

Y'all. I basically barely mentioned my pregnancy on the blog this entire time and now I can't stop talking about it. I'm sorry. It's all I got right now. 

A friend asked if I was nesting and I confessed I was trying to, but mostly I just feel like I'm hibernating. I'm at that really late stage of pregnancy where all you can think all day is "PREGNANT" and you're quite sure your water is going to break at any minute. And the next minute you realize how dumb that is and the next minute you're sure it's gonna break again. 

Each day feels like a continual balance of strategically figuring out how to physically get through the day in the midst of contractions, exhaustion, sheer bigness and also strategically planning (or trying not to plan) what the next few weeks could look like. If I go into labor tonight, who will take the kids? If it's next Friday, when should I go to the grocery store? If it's two weeks from now... Oh Lord, if it's two weeks from now. 

And in the midst of all of that, instead of speeding up and wanting to nest - 
I'm wanting to slow down and hibernate. 

To sit with my kids. To cuddle with my husband. To go to bed early. To just be and let myself really get excited for this baby coming. Maybe for some mamas, it gets more standard and normal each time - but for me, I feel like - I've done this THREE TIMES already. It isn't getting more standard, I just keep knowing how life changing it is. 

I know what's coming. I'm about to meet a true prince who is going to absolutely steal my heart. I know it's going to be the greatest day of my life in the midst of one of the biggest physical struggles. I know my heart will feel utterly tied to the bundle in my arms while it feels tied to the three at home all at once too. I know it will be beautiful and overwhelming and peaceful and chaotic all at once. 

And I can't wait. 
And I know it's worth waiting for. 
All at once. 

tomorrow I'm going to post my baby bucket list - my extensive to-do list for myself and hopefully other mamas-to-be who are are stuck in hibernating instead of nesting. But today? How about you order some prints and give us something to do while we wait for this big boy to come out? We are having that sale, remember?! 

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