Monday, October 28, 2013
transparency + vulnerability
In my life, vulnerability has been the difference between friendship and community. You can be transparent with your friends. You can let them see your mess, you can be honest and you can be free. But it becomes community when you open yourself up and invite them in. Now, its not just your mess, it’s their mess too. - Jessi Cross, Suzie Studios
This quote by Jessi Cross has been on my heart for weeks, especially as it pertains to community and loving my people. It's made me dig deep, deep, deeper into my heart and see what I'm really lacking in my relationships. Have you heard the whole high walls/low walls deal? The idea is that everyone has a combination of two different "walls". High walls + High walls people are typically not as vulnerable in large groups and not as vulnerable in small groups either. People with High walls + Low walls might not be so comfortable sharing in large groups, but when they're one on one - they're an open book. You can kind of play around with all the combinations and see who you are and see how you relate to people.
I think my "walls" type is a little dangerous because I'm incredibly low walls at first, and incredibly high walls after that. Upon first meeting (or reading my blog), you might think I'm just letting it all hang out. I'll tell you what's going on in my heart and my dreams and my fears. I'll tell you funny stories and I don't keep things too buttoned up or stuffy. I've learned that people are disarmed by that sort of behavior and it helps them let their guard down, but I often forget (and forget to tell others), I have a whole large wall after that.
And behind that wall is vulnerability. It's letting people see the hurts and scars and joys that feel tender and letting them speak into them, shift them with the way they love me and do life with me. I am finding that behind that second high wall is wild freedom in community. It is honesty and quietness and reconciliation and life. What about you? What are your walls like? Who are you letting in?