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Sunday, April 5, 2009

that will change you.

Here's a thought that has been in my head the last few days and I would like to share. Maybe it is more of a question. Do any of you mothers of daughters feel like seeing the relationship between your husband and daughter has taught you more of the Lord? I've told Nick a few times in the past week, sometimes on the verge of tears, how seeing him with her just explains so much for me.

Let me back it up. A few days ago, I took this picture.

And it struck me, how you can't see Nick's face - but I know what it looks like. Content, elated, proud. Just to know he's making her smile, he is giving her a thrill. She'll never remember it, but it thrilled her in that moment & so it thrills him.

Then this afternoon while visiting with friends, I was just captured with Glory and Nick on the other side of the backyard. My girl, who can't sit still to save her life - can't cuddle for anything, was just utterly content in her daddy's lap for like thirty minutes. She wasn't sick, wasn't tired, just liked to sit with him. I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them.

I told Nick again on the way home, it's life changing seeing them together. I know that I have that same love for Gloriana, but I'm inside my head - hearing my selfish thoughts and my tiredness, my humanness. But when I see Glor and Nick, it's like I see me & Jesus - she is stubborn and rebellious, rough around the edges and wise in her own eyes - seriously, already. Just like her mama, unfortunately. And Nick, just delights in her. Has from the second he laid eyes on her. She will never understand it, never deserve that love, never be able to start to give it back. Of course Elias has his own little two year old problems and of course we still love him in an intense and passionate nature - but there is something about seeing the same frowny face you make on your baby girl, and seeing a patient papa kissing her bad mood away.

Even with great parents who loved and delighted in me, it changed me even more to see my own husband hold my own daughter and to see their beautiful relationship. I am so thankful that I have him, that she has him, and that the Lord opens my eyes a little bit more each day to His love for us.


kellycowan said...

looove the picture. and love that i saw what you saw today.

Demi Eliese said...

OH yeah-I totally understand that one. Isabel and Alana will totally take Jason any day of the week over me. I look at Isabel sometimes, and her favorite spot is in the rocker, nestled in his lap. She would NEVER do that with me, and I always compare it to the love that our Father has for us. It's almost instinctive..the man, the head of the household..what hurts them, hurts us..well, you get the idea. I think Isabel and Alana secretly love Jason the most out of everyone in her life, and I think he knows it too. :)

Teresa said...

I have found that a child can't truly understand the love of a parent until they grow up and have children of their own. When you look back it makes things much clearer.

Nick said...

You are sweet love. Beautiful blog. We have an amazing family.

Thank you Jesus.

Lindsay Boner said...

i just love this post....made me smile. missing you from the south!

jasonbradley said...

I have often wanted to go back and "heal" the wounds from Kelly's childhood. I have found that loving the girls is a little bit of that, in small measure, especially when I look at sweet little Kanah and all I can see is what Kelly must have looked like. And to think that I can do my darndest to love her the way Jesus must, is not only beneficial for Kanah, but also "healing" in some ways for Kelly.

I loved your post and see Nick's love for his girl (and how that translates to you). Very cool.

Carrie said...

I feel like I know you- but I don't! I would love to though. My sis in law is sweet Lindsay Boner- one incredible girl. Yesterday she wrote me and said- YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THE CONNOLLY BLOG. when she says that-I quickly obey. And what a fabulous, fantastic, phenomenal way of looking at the father/daughter relationship. I have read it at least three times and have cried each time I read it- I practically have it memorized. But here is the thing- I want to memorize it for me- more for me to remember that is what it is like to know Him and to know the God delights in me.
Your words are more than amazing and God is using your talent and magnificent way with articulation to bring others to Him AND using your wisdom and love for others in that house. I really hope I meet you someday soon....and I will be giving you a giant hug (and may cry too) when I see you face to face. You are simply incredible. Your transparency is something that many wish they had and few are secure enough to voice. Can't wait to read tomorrow!!
In Him,