Benjamin is four weeks old today, is that a joke?!
What happened in the last four weeks? Didn't I just get home from the hospital?
Sure seems like it.
Ah well, before too much time passes, here are some funny things that don't belong in any grande story but really in a blog full of funny snippets.
- During the csection, there is always this really sweet Simba-in-Lion-King moment where they hold the slimy baby up for you over the surgery protector so you can see it. When they held Benj up for me to see, a massive glop of goo & blood dropped right on my face - into my eye. Everyone kept trying to wipe it off, but I'm pretty sure it was there an hour or two later when I retouched my makeup because I had nothing else to do while I waited for a nicu update. Yuck.
- When my csection recovery was going really bad (it's getting much better lately, thanks) I was having all sorts of weirdo pains and problems. One was a mysterious pressure on my left abdomen that felt exactly like.... a moving baby. In my scariest, darkest moments - I convinced myself that somewhere during my pregnancy with Benj I'd gotten miraculously pregnant again and there was six month old baby somewhere in there. I was so convinced, I didn't tell anyone and I only came to my senses over this issue a few days ago. Weirdo.
- Literally almost every day since his birth, big Benj has blown out a diaper & pooed his pants. I'm not even kidding. You think I'd be pretty used to poop after the past two years, but the other day it was so bad while I was nursing him - I almost puked. I started yelling like a sixteen year old girl,
What happened in the last four weeks? Didn't I just get home from the hospital?
Sure seems like it.
Ah well, before too much time passes, here are some funny things that don't belong in any grande story but really in a blog full of funny snippets.
- During the csection, there is always this really sweet Simba-in-Lion-King moment where they hold the slimy baby up for you over the surgery protector so you can see it. When they held Benj up for me to see, a massive glop of goo & blood dropped right on my face - into my eye. Everyone kept trying to wipe it off, but I'm pretty sure it was there an hour or two later when I retouched my makeup because I had nothing else to do while I waited for a nicu update. Yuck.
- When my csection recovery was going really bad (it's getting much better lately, thanks) I was having all sorts of weirdo pains and problems. One was a mysterious pressure on my left abdomen that felt exactly like.... a moving baby. In my scariest, darkest moments - I convinced myself that somewhere during my pregnancy with Benj I'd gotten miraculously pregnant again and there was six month old baby somewhere in there. I was so convinced, I didn't tell anyone and I only came to my senses over this issue a few days ago. Weirdo.
- Literally almost every day since his birth, big Benj has blown out a diaper & pooed his pants. I'm not even kidding. You think I'd be pretty used to poop after the past two years, but the other day it was so bad while I was nursing him - I almost puked. I started yelling like a sixteen year old girl,
"SOMEONE TAKE HIM! GROSS! SOMEONE TAKE HIM!
THERE IS POOP ALL OVER ME!".
I've since been pooped on again and am back to my
normal mommy-ambivalence-to-poo stance.
Well, thank goodness.
THERE IS POOP ALL OVER ME!".
I've since been pooped on again and am back to my
normal mommy-ambivalence-to-poo stance.
Well, thank goodness.
2 comments:
oh my gosh, i'm peeing MY pants over here. way too funny!
i love how you share your weirdo dark secrets (because every time my stomach flips or flutters, i swear that i must be 3 months pregnant or something. i guess we're ALL weirdos...or maybe i just hope we all are?)
;)
yes, you know that you've been pregnant for too many months (is that 30/36?) when you think you're pregnant RIGHT after delivery! That feeling will go away soon enough and you'll recognize all the OTHER normal gastrointestinal feelings that the rest of us non-preggos have. love your wierdo humor, darling!
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