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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dear bread,

Dear bread,
Can we have a chat? I think it's important that everyone know their place in this world. When we understand identity and where we fit in, everything is so much simpler. You see, I'm a housewife, a mother, a homemaker - if you will. I'm not JUST a housewife, because that is a big deal to me and if I do it right, it will hopefully mean a great deal to my world. Now if I go prancing about like I'm Britney Spears, grasping for fame, will I seem silly? Will I be discontent? The answer is yes. Beyonce is a whole 'nother matter. If I want to try to dance like her, isn't that my business? I mean, she's not Britney Spears. I digress.

You, you are a lump of misshapen dough that's purpose is to rise and feed my family. That is a big deal, sweet bread! A smear of honey, or toasted on the griddle, for goodness sakes - you could quite possibly be GRILLED CHEESE! Not a big deal to some, but to us - you're invaluable. Nutrition and taste, fulfilling and satisfying... you're a big deal to us.

But here is what I think is happening. In a last ditch effort to make something of yourself, you've decided that food isn't really your forte. Rather, humiliation will be the name of the game for you - as you've made the purpose of your existence to discourage and baffle me. You've seen me struggle with those who've come before you - the yeasty lumps that turned out like bricks, the whole entire mixing bowls thrown out in frustration. And so, you've changed direction and set a new course of devilish pleasure for yourself. My demise.

Now, I beg of you. For your sake and mine.
Do now what you are meant to do.
I will be pleased, at peace even. You will be fulfilling your destiny and reaching your potential.
Glory will finally stop saying, "I hungwy mommy". Well, probably not. She says that seven million times a day.
Either way, Do it .
Rise and be devoured in peace.

Jessica Ashleigh Connolly

ps: the bread in question did indeed rise.
And the next loaf as well!
The next two, not so much.
I'm not giving up just yet though.

1 comment:

Milovy said...

This is one of the most clever posts ever. I love your humor.