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Monday, January 14, 2013

pieces of me.


Tonight I was talking with the Influence core team and we were talking about those really mysterious bloggers who post often, but rarely talk about the real parts of their life. You know, those bloggers who are mamas - but you don't know anything about their kids. Or maybe you know they have a day job, but you couldn't guess what it is for a million dollars. And one of my favorite people in America said something funny, "Oh you mean like that Jessi Connolly who never talks about her kids or her church?!". And she's right. I get it. 

Three years ago my blog was much much much more diary like, an almost real-time day to day update about our lives. Now -- everything is calculated and planned and written with caution, run under the filters of what is best for our family, this blog, our business, our community. I am just ok with that. I don't write or blog in a vacuum and I can't pretend like the people in my life aren't affected by the words I say. I don't know that I'll ever go back to a chronological window into our world because I've learned that the really, really, really REAL bits of my life are sacred and usually left best lived without my commentary. I've learned that my words are like paint by numbers trying to capture this masterpiece of a life the Lord is painting. I've learned that I can tell true stories on my blog, without ever telling the whole story. The whole story is still true, even if it goes untold. Here. Right now. 

So that's why. My kids. My husband. Our church. Our extended family. My friends. The worries that keep me up at night. The joys that wake me in the morning. Those are the bulk of what make up my life and for the most part, they're noticeably absent from my blog. And until the Lord gives me different marching orders, I am absolutely okay with that and I pray you are too. Please know that just because I don't tell the stories, it doesn't mean that they're not being lived out in full humanity and grace and sin and redemption and mundane moments all piled together. 

But. One of my five new goals for this year was to use my words, remember? And so I'm committing that in the next few weeks while my emotions are all hopped up on end of pregnancy and newborn hormones and everything feels like the kingdom of heaven and earth are colliding in thin, poignant moments - I'm going to write some stories. I won't be moving back to any kind of daily diary, but I want to write about some pieces of me. My three favorite little humans who run like mad animals around my house. My hunk of a husband who can make my day with his rare chuckle. My older sister and mama that I talk to 4 times a day each and maybe a little about my church that is gospel + community all wrapped up in a sweet ball of people. 

Please stick around if you will. 
I'll be leaking some little pieces of me. 
Maybe not the whole story, but true stories nonetheless.  

..............................


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1 comment:

Julie Marie said...

Love this. I tell a lot. but hesitate in telling the details. mostly because I don't think ppl can really grasp the whole story in a blog post. too much to say in such a short moment of time. I love telling true stories without telling the whole story...:) maybe occasionally this changes, depending on the story...