let's talk about it.

I emailed Alisa from Revelation Wellness in a fury before I changed my mind. 
I'd been looking over her website for weeks, knew I was going to meet her at the Jesus at the Core event, and I just had to bite the bullet and ask for her help. 

I started blogging over seven years ago because it was such a sweet place to process the tender parts of my heart. I could write and process and then also share what the Lord was doing, in the hopes that other women would be encouraged. Over time I found what I think a lot of bloggers find out - it gets harder and harder to talk about the REALLY tender parts, because then the whole world knows and you feel exposed and it's just not a great way to feel. And that was my story with blogging about food, weight loss, body image, etc. I talked a little bit about it after having Cannon, but mostly I realized I had nothing to say. Nothing has changed in my body and very little has changed in my heart after a year of having our fourth baby. I haven't lost a pound (and kept it off) and I haven't lost the icky feeling that I don't recognize this body I live in. 

I had my first meeting with Alisa this past week and I sat on my office floor and answered her biggest question, "What made you email? What's gotten you to this place?". And that's the only thing I have to share right now. The tender part of my heart that I want to offer up in hopes that it will be encouraging and life giving and a soft place for someone to land today. 

I have experienced freedom - first hand and I've seen it with my eyes in others. There are parts of my heart and life that I thought would always feel broken or busted, and the Lord has poured out His spirit on them and made them new and fresh and better than ok. I know freedom, because I know Jesus. But I do not walk in freedom as it pertains to my body and my health. I feel insecure about being seen, having my picture taken, and basically getting dressed. And my head is tired from the back and forth of believing lies and fighting lies, believing lies and fighting them again. 

I know that it is for freedom that Christ has set me free and I know that freedom is already here. I am ready to walk in it, to put some tools in my tool belt and have someone wiser than me speak into my heart and life and diet and fitness. I have experienced freedom and I am ready to experience it in this area too. 

Will y'all stick around as I get tender once again? 
I know I'm not the only one who is tired and longing for the abundant life He already has for us. 

A note on what I'm talking about:

Alisa Keeton is the founder of Revelation Wellness and I'm currently enrolled in her Weigh Less to Feed More program.  My plan is to show up & be honest about what is going on in my heart, but if you're looking for real wisdom and inspiration on body/weight/image freedom - I highly suggest following Alisa as she follows Jesus.  

And if you're local - I'd love to see you at the Jesus at the Core event next week!  Brooke Boon from Holy Yoga will be there as well as Alisa from Revelation Wellness. 

And me. And I can't wait.