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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

thoughts on quitting

As previously mentioned, this week I'm thinking a lot about the good portion.
Where am I wasting time, energy, and effort in my life - when I could be sitting at Jesus' feet or doing precisely what it is He desires of me. I'm reading two books right now (both by Carolyn Mahaney) that are intersecting at just the right point to put me on high alert concerning the use of my time. Feminine Appeal is dedicated to the worthy pursuits of a Titus 2 woman and Shopping for Time is a quick little read that revolves around the Mary/Martha struggle and finding time for what is important.

So what's important? I think Titus 2 gives us a clear answer and I'm trying to whittle my life back down to those worthy pursuits. The hardest part so far is stripping away the unnecessary. The first thing to go for me is going to be the dreaded facebook.

I really never thought it would come to this. I don't necessarily think I'm addicted to facebook and I don't even have a phone that updates me constantly with is going on. But something happened the other day that made me start thinking.

I had just read the Mary/Martha passage and I was praying that God would show me "the good portion" in my life. The kids and I went on a walk and there were about a zillion dandelions in this big field we were playing in. Glory and Elias looked so beautiful and sweet just running all through the flowers. Immediately I thought... "Hm... I have no camera, no phone, no flip to capture this on. No computer to twitter about it and no way to capture it whatsoever." And it was still so sweet. It made my heart sad that for a half a second it didn't feel as beautiful because I couldn't share it with cyberspace. I asked the Lord to burn the picture into my memory but then I got to thinking...

Are my memories, thoughts, stories, and pictures just as special if I never share them with others and MOREOVER are my memories, thoughts, stories, and pictures less special because I'm comparing them with everyone else's seventeen times a day when I check facebook? Did my backyard picnic just get blown out of the water by the park-day someone else just updated about? Or was it still beautiful and amazing, nonetheless?

So I'm not like deleting my account or anything. I mean it is just plain fun to be on like a thirty comment thread about something hilarious. And I love to see pictures of family and far-away friends. I'm still going to check it once a day for community sake, or else I think I'd never see any friends. I just need some time off, some time away to make sure my dandelion fields are just as beautiful as they should be.


Rachel said...

I was worried you were having thoughts on quitting your blog and I got sad. But luckily it's just FB, which I totally understand. Unless I have specific arrangements to chat with someone I try to only get on in the early morning or after the boys are in bed. I found myself checking in throughout the day like all of my friends on the other side of the world were going to get up at 2 am and update.

Also, I started Feminine Appeal last year with a group and had to drop out when I got put on bed rest. The part I got through was really good so maybe it deserves a revisit and finish. Also, a friend was just telling me about Shopping for Time. She loved it and told me HAD to read it. Maybe that should be on my list too!

Teresa said...

Jessi, I read this article today after I had read your blog. I found it very interesting and inline with your thoughts. It made me "think".

Keep bloggin...Teresa (Angela's mom)

michelle said...

mmmm. yeah. i've had those very same moments. it's certainly feels unhealthy in some way to think/live/react in regards to technology. awareness here is the key, i think. and not losing the ability to absorb and live those moments as their happening.

my mom is a photographer, so i have had to try to cleanse my mind of thinking in regards to life only happening if it's happening on camera. same as the field of dandelions. i'm still trying to learn that it's just as beautiful if i can remember it as it is if i'm snapping pictures.