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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

the incubator.



I'm not a whiny-blog fan, I gotta tell you. 
For whatever reason, I like reading and writing with a positive voice - even if it's about a negative subject. But now, I've found myself in a rut and just about all I'd like to blog about is how hard transition is. Alas, I will not. A) of all, because it's not that hard and B) of all, because I'm still trying to hold out on whiny-blogging. 


So, here's what I'll tell you about transition today.
If you find yourself in a weirdo limbo world for a few months - without a home, working towards something but not something that you can necessarily see concrete evidence of, craving stability and "normal", consider yourself in an incubator


Are you pregnant? Waiting to get pregnant? Waiting to get married? Waiting to adopt? To find a job? To find a friend? Waiting on the Lord to change your heart or change your husbands heart or waiting on the Lord to do a massive thing like plant a church and He is doing it slowly and surely, while you would like it done yesterday? Think incubate. Think about the exponential growth the Lord could cause in you in the waiting. 


When Benjamin was born, he had to go to the NICU for a few days because he "didn't transition well".
There were just a few kinks to work out. 
It's been especially sweet to watch our Benja grow during this transition. When we got off that plane from Seattle in late July, he was a big baby. No walking, no talking, lots of whining - but handsome as the day is long. 

And now! The Lord has just grown him up in the past two months! He's such a big boy! And he's so ready for Boston - though I'm not quite sure if Boston is ready for him. He's walking - RUNNING, really. He's talking up a STORM. I could just sit and listen to him allllll day. He's getting better about his whining, his separation anxiety, and he's stopped using hitting as his main means of communication. He even likes Glory a little more now. Nick even said the other day, "I knew we wouldn't move to Boston till Benja started walking". Today he even just sat on the porch, by himself, watching the rain. What a big boy thing to do is that? 


It's like the Lord just used this little transition that feels SO hard sometimes (snuck in a little whine) to grow our kids right up, right into what they needed to be. 


Lord - I'd really like to be done waiting. 
I'd really like to be out of transition. 
But keep me in the incubator as long as you need me. 
What else do I need to know, how else do you need to change me?
I want to transition well. 

11 comments:

suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} said...

oh jessi, i really admire your perspective and your heartfelt desire to model Christ.

be encouraged, friend. you are a godly woman and God will certainly complete the work he began in you, your family, and your ministry.

this space is a ministry too, and you bless many with the Truth and the whine-free zone;)

Angela said...

i needed that.

simply stated, such clear examples, and very helpful in redirecting my thoughts in a season of waiting.

love this frame of thought and will join you in that prayer.

love you friend!

beautiful mess said...

Philippians 4:6-7
I turn to this verse when I feel I've been in the "incubator" too long.

weathergirl said...

I so needed that today. As we are in our incubator of waiting for our house to sell. God has used alot of things and people to remind me of these truths. Thanks for your honesty and your desire to be all God wants you to be. You are right where you need to be and so am I. I love you, and I pray that you will transiton well.

Kim said...

GREAT words, Jessi!

I've been calling it 'the middle' (based on a sermon I heard) but I like Incubator much better!

Our pastor /Vineyard church/ often talks about 'the already but not yet' --as in His Kingdom Come ...crazy concept to grasp, but somehow it makes sense...

Blessings to you and your sweet family as you incubate!! <3

Kara said...

I love this! I am an incubator!

Laura said...

I completely resonate with your post! Thanks for putting it into words, in the wonderful way to journal! :)

Jessi said...

Thanks ya'll for the encouragement, scripture, and empathy.

Kathryn Dungan said...

Hi Jesse- I stumbled upon your blog a little while back, (I knew your sister when she lived in Columbia)It has been such a ministry to me! I daily look forward to your encouragement and your heart for Christ and what He is growing in you! We too are in "limbo" as I was laid off from teaching and have a new baby and I am trying desparately to find my "purpose" in all of this! I just continue to worship while I wait and seek to dance in the storm! Thanks for the encouragement!
Kathryn

Kristy Powell said...

Transition is indeed hard. While you might not choose to publicly "whine" know that we all (I assume) have endured major transition, and can on some level relate to the groaning you are trying not to share. Groan away, that is the point of transition--to be in between. And I love to remember that there is a point to transition, it isn't something we are just thrown into with no point, no reason to be in between, even though the in between is it's very own very relevant true time and place to exist in. With that, transition should be intermittent. I get the feeling you feel as though you are always constantly moving from one to another. Then transition becomes norm and that is unhealthy. The time between major transitions should be greater than the times spent in transition. I welcome your next stage and pray that it quickly becomes the norm, a healthy, stable, norm that you can grow into from transition and rest in and indulge in and that you would have some time in that place to exist without even having to consider or plan for the next transition. That is what I pray for for us as well.

Jessi said...

Hey Kathryn! Nice to "meet" you! Will definitely be praying for you in your transition.

Kristy - you totally hit the nail on the head. A big transition followed by a massive non-transition would be amazing. Three years of minor transitions leaves me exhausted. Thankful for your wisdom.