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Thursday, January 12, 2012

a true story by Ashley. She's precious.

((Hi friends! Jessi here. This week my fam & I are finishing up a big road trip and so I've asked some of my precious friends to share with you. I've told them they can talk about ANYTHING - but I'm specifically praying through the idea of blogging a true story, so here is a true story from them. Enjoy. ))

Today, meet Ashley from The Vanilla Tulip


          Hello friends!  I've been praying about the true story that I am going to share with you today.
Throughout my story I've placed verses that I had written in my journal during this time.
My prayer is that the Lord's Words would be a blessing to you as they have been to me.

My husband is a football coach in Texas and I am a stay-at-home wife.  As a coach's family it's a given that you will move alot. 
 Usually every three to four years.
We had been in our current town for five years.
In February we felt the Lord calling our family to move away from Dallas.
Away to a very VERY small town to coach at their highschool.
In March I had our third child.
In April we moved our three small children (3, 2 and a newborn) and all our possessions.
Our old home was located in the middle of a suburb of Dallas.
Everything I needed or could possibly want was only a five minute (max) drive from our home.
We had a wonderful church home and great friends there.
Our new home was located in the woods.
So much in the woods that 80% of the time you look out the window you see deer.
We're 10 minutes from a town.
20 minutes from anywhere to buy groceries.
Our home is so surrounded by trees that our cell phones at the time didn't pick up coverage.
We couldn't even get normal television stations.
And we had to search long and hard for an internet provider that could cover us out here.
We settled into our new home.
And then my husband went back to work.
Here I was in the middle of the woods with my three small children.
Very much alone.
And very lonely.
More lonely than I've ever felt in my entire life.
I would go days without talking to an adult except for my husband when he came home.
Not out of choice...but because we had no cell service and no internet.
If the world were ending I would have had no clue...
I was in my little isolation bubble in the woods :)
I cried every day for a long time.
I constantly questioned the Lord as to why He had brought our family here.
I was miserable and lonely.
I laugh now but I told my husband I felt like the Lord had placed me in a prison of trees.
I mean seriously... who says that? :)
It was a miserable time.
But also a time of dependance on the Lord.
I have never craved Him more than in those desperately lonely moments.
I sought Him.
I needed Him.
There was nowhere else to turn.
What a sweet blessing He gave me.
To take me away from "the noise".
Away from the distractions.
And to place me in the middle of His beautiful creation.
And then He waited.
Waited for me to see be satisfied with just HIM.
Isaiah 43:20
"Because I provide water in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."
We went a whole month with no phone service or internet.
A month of just being quiet.
I kicked and fought the Lord the better part of that month.
While I was kicking and fighting I was also seeking.
Seeking out of desperation.
Psalm 63:
vs. 1, "My soul thirsts for You"
    "Earnestly I seek You"
vs. 3, "Your steadfast love is better than life."
vs. 8 "my soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."
Psalm 30:5
"Weeping may tarry for the night,
but JOY comes with the morning."

I found that the Lord has a funny sense of humor.
I would go for runs around our home.
Alot of crying and pleading to the Lord would happen on those runs.
I remember one evening in particular I was running, crying and quoting Scripture.
The particular verse that I was thinking on at the time was,

Psalm 42:1
"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God."

As I was saying this verse over and over I happened to look to my left.
There was a little herd of deer running along side of me.
It very much felt like a Pocahontas moment :)
But the Lord brought laughter to me in that time of desperation and crying out.
He cares.
He cares about our loneliness and aching hearts.
The morning is finally coming. 
Friends are being made.
We have phone and internet service;)
Am I still lonely at times?
Yes.
I'd be lying if I told you that I am no longer lonely anymore.
There are days when I do feel lonely and sad out in the woods :)
But I know that my Lord satisfies that loneliness.
If you too are lonely my prayer is that you would seek the Lord.
The One who satisfies.
Psalm 77:2
"In the day of the my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out."
Psalm 56:9-11
"This I know, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid."

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