a quiet buffalo speaks

Look, look! I made it to a third blog post for the week! 

Blogging is usually so super life giving for me and I usually have posts spilling out of me for weeks to come. 

Ehhhhh. not so much right now. 

I've told myself that till this baby comes out - three posts a week is good!

Right? Right. 

I was telling my sister a little about these strange days leading up to baby4 today. 

Without getting too graphic - I'll tell you, there is a lot of waddling, a good amount of hormonal tears over nothing, not a lot of talking, an intense desire to be around friends but a serious realization that I need time alone. 

She said - "you know, this is why a lot of wild animals go off to be by themselves when they birth. it's just natural. we're cranky. we're tired. we're hormonal. we don't want to be touched." And y'all, let's keep it real. I'm having a c-section. I use tylenol. I wish I was a hypno-birthing mama who did the deed in my house surrounded by candles and worship music, but it's a much more medical process for me. BUT - maybe for the first pregnancy ever, I really feel like I'm connecting to my natural maternal side. 

I'm embracing my inner wild animal.

I imagine that animal to be a big old quiet buffalo. 

So if you need me in the next 10 or so days? 

I'll be quietly working and wrapping up internet stuff before the baby gets here. 

I'm taking 2-3 scalding hot showers a day to calm the crazy aches+spasms+contractions. 

I'm dreaming about baby4's face and talking to the kids about how great he'll be. 

Trying to savor each little nuance of my last pregnancy. 

And embracing my inner buffalo.