known versus knowing

I'm hearing it all around me. 

The bad news that we are building a culture, a generation, that is obsessed with being known. We apparently desire fame, we build our identities on mountains of likes & followers, and our kids? When they list their dream jobs, they say - celebrity. It's not the thing they want to do to change the world that pushes their heart, but the being known for it. 

And I am the first to say, I get it. 

A few years ago, I was a baby blogger, constantly just updating the world with my thoughts, unsure of who was listening or if it mattered that I had anything to say. I'd see those more well known than me interacting on twitter or listen to them speak at conferences, and something would well up inside of me and feel tingly and hope - hope - hope that one day people would look and listen to me. And I hoped it for the good reasons, I genuinely believed, so I could give God much glory and inspire and encourage. But I had to be known first, right? 

The truth of it is, a few years and several thousand followers later, I am still not known. I was listening to Tsh and Shaun Groves' recent podcast as they talked about fame, and I was so comforted and so discouraged by their words all at once. Shaun said that his few years of fame were more damaging to his soul than anything else in his life - and they both commented on how backwards it is for our souls to be known and not know in return. I feel that in my gut and I know that a) with each follower gained, I am not more known or understood - I often feel more isolated and less able to share and b) something inside of me deeply longs to know people back. 

This is why I think the message of influence is SO important. Desiring to use your influence, rather than build your own fame, is a game changer. When we want to make the most of the influence God has given us, we recognize that the influential way we treat our children or our spouses or our best friend is just as  life shifting as the way we tweet to thousands or speak to hundreds. This is not lip service for me and I believe it with every shred of my being. I believe that the hand I firmly place on my husband's forearm in the midst of his hard day is as influential as the most life giving words I could ever muster up to write to the thousands. The more value someone places on your voice and your presence, the more incredibly influential you are in their life, thus the more they are able to take what you give them and share it with the rest of the world. 

So while I think it's good and worthy to utilize our influence, wield it for the glory of God or the sake of the dream we're pursuing - I want to know the firm boundary lines. I need firm structure that keeps me from gathering up the whole sum of my perceived approval or visibility and calling that "known" or replacing my identity with it. Moreover, when my head hits the pillow at night - I want to be certain that I'm certain that I've known others more than I've been "known" or seen myself. 

I want to know, for the most part, how my sister and my mom are doing and how I can pray for them. I want to remember the exact fleck of gold that is in my oldest son's eyes. I want to have seen that shadow cross over my friend's face when she mentioned that thing, so I can remember to go back and ask her about it and be there for her. I don't want to know (or care) how many people unfollowed me on instagram that day or what the general response was to that thing I put on Facebook. While I'm grateful for influence and the call to wield it for God's glory, I'd rather know than be known, and I don't think those things are mutually exclusive. 

The future starts now, with us. The studies they'll do five years from now, ten years from now, on our kids and our kid's kids? We dictate how they'll come out. With hope I am declaring that I'll do my part and use my voice to make sure they don't say that our obsession with psuedo-celebrity only snowballed and that we laid down influence for fickle and false bits of fame. Today, whether you're known by thousands or you're known by dozens - you have the opportunity to KNOW ever before you. I pray that we, starting with me, live lives of such dedication to knowing + loving + being. This way, when we step on our platforms of influence - what is seen is an overflow of reality and passion rather than us getting it backwards with the bulk of our time being documented and known, with small dips into the well of seeing and hearing others. 

I'd rather be know than be known, 

and I have a feeling you're with me. 

Are you with me? 

Today marks the day we start selling tickets for our third annual Influence conference. If you're not aware of what Influence is about - it's about allllllll this. We want to help women make their online life mean something, help them grow their creative endeavors and steward their influence, and we are also all about the gospel at the core of who we are. We'd love to have you. 

this weekend changed my life

I guess I blame Tsh, y'all. 

A few weeks ago, someone at Thomas Nelson contacted me & asked if I'd be willing to read & review Tsh's new book - Notes from a Blue Bike, and I of course said YES! YES! YES! I love reading what Tsh has to say, I listen to her podcast, we have a few mutual friends and in general - I'm just a big old fan. 

Friday for me was a long work day of meetings and emails and the small headaches and heartaches that come with running a small business. When I walked in my door and saw the package with Tsh's book, I was overjoyed. I already had big plans that weekend for READING. All week I'd imagined carving out some sort of time while my kids were playing or occupied and making a big cup of coffee and just reading my little heart out. As I started reading Friday night, before the weekend even got a chance to sweep me away, I found myself texting quotes from the book to friends or reading sections out loud to Nick. It was resonating with me, shifting me, in huge ways that I didn't expect. 

One line in particular hit me like a truck. 

It's hard to slow down when the race has no finish line. 

I've written before about my desire to start projects I can finish because most of our life (and probably yours too) is so unfinishable. Motherhood keeps going, small business - and ESPECIALLY internet small business - always keeps going. Church planting - woosh. I mean, we've barely begun but I can already see - there is no finish line. It just keeps moving and moving and moving. 

I can genuinely tell you that it's been over three years since I had a day where I felt like everything I accomplished everything I needed to get done. A day where I had a to-do list with even just the most important tasks crossed off? I don't remember it. For all my goal setting and planning and constantly reworking my schedule - I'm growing more and more accustomed to the truth that there will always be more to do. I will have to be the one who says "this is enough. this work is good enough." 

So reading those amazing words at the beginning of the weekend drastically changed the way I lived my days. Moreover this weekend, I believe, was a really subtle and lasting change in my life. Rather than seeing these two days as opportunities to get ahead, grow, clean, change, organize, fix, or reconfigure - I just lived. I just lived my sweet little life and left the to-do list for Monday. 

I deleted instagram, twitter, & FB from my phone. 

I straightened my hair. 

I read books. 

I cuddled with my kids. 

I listened to podcasts while I grocery shopped. 

I laughed with my husband. 

I slept. 

I did yoga. 

I didn't get ahead, but I did feel oh so happy and blessed. 
And I needed that jar back to reality, the reminder that this life - our jobs, our ministries, our plans and schedules are not intrinsically bad - but they are not our life. 

And I'm so grateful to the Tsh's words on simplicity that helped me get there. 

I'm leaving so much out about Notes from a Blue Bike, so you gotta check it out. Here's a quick video. I cannot recommend it more - I'll be buying copies for many friends. 

Notes From a Blue Bike is written by Tsh Oxenreider, founder and main voice of The Art of Simple. It doesn’t always feel like it, but we DO have the freedom to creatively change the everyday little things in our lives so that our path better aligns with our values and passions. Grab your copy here.

the story of a church plant

Big life events are my favorite. 
Births. Big family trips. Birthdays and super special date nights. 
I love the days that feel electric and different, the days that feel jittery and magical. 
I'd always expected the day our church plant launched to feel like that, but it didn't. 
It felt real and just right. It felt special, for sure, but also super known - like a dream I'd dreamt over and over and over again, only to live it out in real life after waking up. 

I want to gather up those days and hours surrounding the first service with twine and hang them on the wall like some piece of abstract art. I'm a memory replayer and right now, a night of fun sounds like a cup of coffee and a couch to myself - to lay back and recount all the conversations and the faces and the feelings. But. The best part about church planting (so far) is that it's only just begun. That first launch was so fun and fulfilling, but it just keeps going now. And I love that. 

But while I'm here, why not go ahead and write the play by play? 
For God's glory and my heart's gratitude. 

Thursday 1/16
Thursday was a big old fat day. It was Nick's birthday, we were having a huge sale in the shop, the Morgans were arriving to celebrate the first Gospel Community service with us, AND my kids were out of school. You know those days that you need to go perfectly? That was Thursday for us. It started rougher than rough at 6am when I fell all the way down the stairs, bruising and bloodying a huge portion of my body and waking up all four kids. Thirty minutes later, Cannon dropped my iPhone into a cup of coffee. By 7am, I felt done for. I had a whole house to clean, a husband to celebrate, kids to entertain and we had a church to plant. I took a whole lot of deep breaths and two Aleve, asked God for joy, went to breakfast with Nickers, asked my mom and sister for kid help, and thanked the Lord for AppleCare insurance on my phone. Many errands and loads of laundry later, my kids were home and thrilled to see the Morgan boys just arriving from Indiana. We did our best to get 8 kids to sleep in two bedrooms and the four of us snuck out for a late birthday dinner for Nick. It was such a sweet break to pause and celebrate. 

these guys. made the weekend so sweet. 

Friday 1/17 
Friday was a flurry of kid and toys and noise and fun. Nick spent the bulk of the day finishing up sermon prep, there were people in and out of the house all day, just like I like it. My heart was super expectant for what the Lord was going to do, but it was a really nice distraction to just be about the actual physical people in our home rather than focusing on the big thing coming to fruition that we'd been working at for so long. 

this was half of our crew before going door to door to hand out invitation

Saturday 1/18

Before the day got started, I snuck away to the guest room where Nick and I were sleeping, took off my glasses and wept for about ten minutes into my hands. I wept with joy and gratitude for how the Lord had sustained us over the years and in thanksgiving for what He was about to do. I put my glasses back on and tried to pull my junk together as best I could. 

That morning brought over 20 people, our core team and friends from nearby and far away, into our home so that we could all go out into the neighborhood. We spent time praying and then split up to go pass out invitations. We went door to door, I went with Nick and our boys. I love seeing him in his element and it was a joy to walk with him. He'd knock on the door, we'd greet and explain we were planting a church, then as we walked away - pray for the people we'd met or the house we left an invitation at. The kids were cuter than cute and I think they were starting to feel such sweet ownership over the church. My heart was swelling with excitement at this point. 

Saturday afternoon my mom blessed my face off and took all our kids to her house. I spent about ten minutes sitting in silence, thirty minutes straightening up the living room for the beating it had taken, and I was a new woman. That night we went to dinner with the Morgans and came home to finish up a few church admin things - children's ministry check in sheets, coloring sheets, order of service. Nick and I talked before bed and both said - God is the same He's been the past few years. He's the same God who has loved us when we've failed and He's the same God who's helping us plant a church. We did a little cuddling, took some melatonin and went to bed. 

my mom made this pastor's wives pack for me complete with mints, feminine products,
Tide togo & headache medicine. She's the best. 

Sunday 1/19
During the second or third song, I snuck away from my front row spot, grabbed a cup of coffee and stood in the back. Almost all the seats were filled, worship was going beautifully, and I could hear the kids muffled laughter in children's ministry next door. People we'd prayed would come had come and people we'd never met (but had prayed for) had come. There were four people/families who had heard of our church via instagram or Facebook, which blessed my heart to no end. These two things we do - church and online, can often feel like they're competing, but in the end - they're both all about His Kingdom. Nick preached a message that seemed so incredibly fitting for the audience that we couldn't have anticipated. We've been praying for years for a church where people could be our family before they were a part of God's family. We've prayed that we wouldn't be just a holding place for Christians, but a home for those who have relationships with the Lord and those who don't. He preached the gospel honestly and invitingly, somehow spurring us all on - wherever we were. 

oh swoon. 

My favorite part was after the service, when we started "Starting Point", our info session for people who were ready to walk with us and move forward as a church family. So few people left and it seemed that all those people sitting were genuinely interested. They wanted to know about family groups and discipleship and I wanted to know about them. 

We went to lunch with the core team and then some and everyone came back to our house for football watching. By 6pm, I was feeling donezo and by 10pm, I was a hot mess. But we'd made it through the day. We'd launched our church plant. We said goodbye to the Morgans and I laid on the floor of the guest room - sending texts to the people who'd come and shown their support. To the family members who served in children's ministry and the faces that made my day. 

Monday 1/20
I told him, "I feel inadequate. I don't think I can do this!" The more I thought about it, I wanted to back up. I'm going to make a terrible church planter's wife. Nick smiled at me and put an arm on my shoulder, "Good. I feel inadequate too". We went on to talk about how our ministry and church ideas have always been based on continually needing the gospel, continually being changed by the Good News that only God is good and we need Him. I suppose now that we're leading the church, this will still be the same for us. We are needy and inadequate still. 

my house, just how I like it. 

Tuesday 1/21 
We had our first family group with over 25 people. There was Sprite all over the floor and kids all over the place. But, oh man - I loved it so much. I love these people so much, the new friends and the ones who have so faithfully given the last few months of their lives to walk with us. The ones who aren't here yet, and mostly - the man who got dreamy and bold and told me five years ago that he felt called to to plant a church called Gospel Community on a snowy night in Seattle. 

I find myself just saying thank you thank you thank you to the Lord under my breath for all that He's done in the last years and weeks to get us here. We're inadequate and He is not. We're weak and His power is made perfect in us. 
We are living out Gospel Community.
And I can't wait. 

It's time to celebrate!

It's here! It's here!

It's time to celebrate!

If you're not here with us at The Influence Conference - no worries. You can join us at home in some fun ways!

Follow #influenceconf hashtag on social media, especially tomorrow and Saturday because tweets and posts are going to be coming in from our amazing speaker sessions! Also, check out what we're doing with Sole Hope + Pure Charity -- we're trying to raise $7,000 for Sole Hope THIS WEEKEND and we need your help! 

Also, to personally celebrate -- I decided we needed a quick Naptime Diaries Sale! Take 15% off everything in the shop using coupon code INFLUENCE13 and I've also decided to open up sponsorship on my blog for one more month, read more about that here. 

All I want for Christmas! (a massive giveaway!)

Christmas is days away and  a group of us lady bloggers wanted to get together to bless our readers in two ways. #1 - we want to give away a HUNK of stuff, stuff at the top of our own lists for Christmas to one of our readers. and #2 - introduce our readers to some of our favorite bloggers - the ones we truly love to read and interact with. 

Maybe you know all these ladies and maybe you don't! Either way, we've set up a super simple giveaway where you can go below and "like" these ladies facebook pages for up to SEVEN entries to win the big old lot of goodies below! 

Check out all the gifts + then head down to the giveaway entry where you can automatically like all the facebook pages, without ever leaving the giveaway! We'll announce a winner on the 26th, but in all seriousness - everyone wins when you are getting to know all these great blogging ladies. Merry Christmas! 

Ashlee from Growing Up a Thomas is giving away this Bobbi Brown lip + eye palette. Here's what she has to say about it: 

I love makeup and I really, really love Bobbi Brown makeup. When I was 14 and my parents finally let me wear it (like just blush and mascara) my grandma took me to get my makeup done at the Bobbi Brown counter. Such a cool grandma, right? From that day on I was hooked! I have tried other (read: less expensive) brands before but the quality can't be beat. It never fails that there is always Bobbi Brown makeup on my Christmas list! Mostly because it is a bit pricey and so I ask for whatever I am out of as a gift. Plus, she always puts together the cutest little sets that are perfect for holiday gift giving - which is why I bought one to give to one of you!

Beth Anne from Okay BA is giving away a french press, a bag of Starbucks coffee, and a really precious little mug! Here's why: 

In the mornings when the sun is still hazy, I sneak downstairs & brew a cup of coffee. The fresh grounds pull me back to being a little girl & my mother's morning cup & then to college lecture halls & cold winter mornings & the last bit of night, when my husband has a cup before bed. It is a comfort to me, a balm to my soul, & something I wish to share with all of my friends.

Diana from Hormonal Imbalances is giving away these super, super cute leg warmers! Ahhh.

I just bought new boots and fell in love with these. I adore just looking at them, and can't wait to see them on someone!

Jessi from Naptime Diaries is giving away these gold earrings from Lisa Leonard. She says: 

These earrings have been on my list since the second I saw them! I think they're funky, classic, casual, and dressy all at once. They seem like the perfect addition to any outfit - year round - to make you feel just that much more put together. 

Kacia over at Coconut Robot is adding in a $50 Anthropologie Gift Card!

I'm awful at gift lists.  Just awful!  I'm not someone that has a running list of items I'd like in my head, so gift cards speak my love language.  I especially love finding unique items at Anthropologie--and gift cards give me the ability to splurge a little bit on them!

Kim from Oh Sweet Joy bought one of you this amazing ring for NSPottery! She says:

I'm a firm believer that accessories make or break any outfit. Whether it's a pop of color on your hand or a neutral statement necklace, adding just a little extra detail can make the biggest difference in how "put together" you feel.  I love my NS Pottery pieces and wanted to share the love with y'all. Enjoy & Merry Christmas!

Finally, Raechel from Finding Our Feet is giving away these amazing polka dot gloves from Madewell. 

I'm a sucker for polka dots. And warm hands. 

And, well, using my iPhone with warm hands and polka dots. 

Alright ladies - get to entering! 

We are so excited to give one of 

you this massive package of gifts!

Merry, merry Christmas! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway