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Monday, October 22, 2007

Going Public

The past few days for Nick and I have been extremely beautiful, a little bit painful, and they have certainly revealed the character of our Lord. On Thursday morning, we received the news that our sweet Glory Baby had tested with a high probability of having a chromosomal disorder known as Trisomy 18, or Edward's Syndrome. Trisomy 18 is a fatal genetic disorder - where 50% of the babies die in utero, 10% live for up to 24 hours and just 5% make it to one year. We knew we'd be waiting until this morning to get any kind of news - so we just sort of tucked in, prayed for peace, and waited.

Beginning on Thursday morning - Jesus absolutely poured peace over us. Just two hours after the call - we felt really comforted by Him and absolutely assured that this was not His desire. In a time where I completely expected to feel angry with the Lord or as if He just truly didn't exist - I could not ignore the intense feeling that He was as heart-broken as we were.

It was really helpful to have family here this weekend, to keep us distracted and pray. I was so excited for Sunday because I was getting to share my testimony at Mosaic as part of 'The View', a four-woman panel discussing our current series, Seduced. It was so fun and I pray God was truly glorified through our opinions and stories. All day on Sunday - different women were asking me to pray for them and whether I knew their specific situations or not, I knew to pray for peace. I knew if God could provide His perfect peace for me despite waiting on these results - He could provide peace for anyone.

So... today. We went through a really extensive Level II ultrasound, and the doctor was able to tell us that from what they could see there were no major physical deformities. With Trisomy 18, the baby can either have a huge fatal deformity - such as a hole in the heart, or they can just not be able to function outside of the womb. Since we didn't get any conclusive results from the ultrasound, we had to have some other tests done and we'll get a definite result on Wednesday.

Again, I feel God's perfect peace. Nick and I have had the phrase "drink this cup" on our minds all weekend, and we've even had others who were unaware of our circumstances prophesy that we were needing to do just that. If we find out on Wednesday that our precious lovey is just fine - I can't tell you how much I'll still be praising God for this time to know His heart so much better. On the other hand, if we find out the opposite - we will not stop praising God for His Glory.

8 comments:

emilymburgess said...

Jessi our prayers are with you and Nick. I pray that the Lord's peace and love with hold you and comfort you always. Love Emily

Anonymous said...

hi jess, i just emailed you and then checked your blog to see if there was an update. i'm glad you're "going public". you guys are out for his glory one way or another. loving you.

Candice of 'The Beautiful Mess' said...

praying so hard for the both of you. your outlook is just a heartmoving testimony of the work that God can do in our lives.

inthemiddleoflife said...

The Father is so very pleased with your heart and your words, Jessi. I know that, because I am. Love you, Hold fast. momma

Gore Family said...

Jessi & Nick - Your strength is beyond my comprehension right now, so I will simply learn from your hearts and praise God that He has equipped HIS faithful for HIS Glory! Your testimony is so powerful! I continue to pray for you two and Elias. Praise God that he has such discerning and faithful parents!

Unknown said...

My prayers are with your family. I am touched by your steadfast faith in all of this, it really is amazing.

Anonymous said...

(((((HUGS)))))

Jessi, my prayers are with you and Nick...your strength and faith in the Lord during this time is so so powerful.

You are truly a living testimony. Stay encouraged!

Sending love from Columbia,
~Nika

Unknown said...

oh jess...i'm praying and praying! i read on Whit's blog about you being pregnant and then came over to read of yours yesterday. i hope and pray nothing but God's gracious, loving peace on you guy's lives! I miss your smiling face. Hope life is blissfully wonderful!