the notebook

Like most people, when I first started blogging, “document our life” was very high on my list of purposes. And still, one of my favorite things is to look back a year ago or two years ago and see what we were doing, what the kids were up to.  And sometimes now that my purposes have changes I feel bad. My kids, this family, is my actual whole world. And yet it’s a pretty small fraction of this ol’ blog.

And I have good reasons ya’ll, so I probably won’t start blogging about them every day. My main reason is this: the last thing I want this corner of the internet to be is a trophy case where I show off my accomplishments. And at some point as a mama, you start loving your kids so hard that you can’t talk about them without shaking your head and saying, “man, he/she is so cute”.

But I still want to study them and know them. And document them.  So last week I went and bought three little fake moleskins. One for a Naptime Diaries to-do list since it was taking over my real life to-do list. The second was for a life to-do list. Somewhere to write “take off busted nail polish” and “PUT UP LAUNDRY, no for real – PUT IT UP”. The third I labeled “thoughts” and decided I’d just record my thoughts on the kids and our family. My prayers for them, my observations, desires, and silly memories that I don’t want to forget.

So here are some things that have gone in there since Thursday night

-  I love literally the way every word comes out of Benja’s mouth at this age. I want to laugh at all his phrases and words. Sometimes when other people are around, I’ll start laughing and making him repeat the most mundane things. Because they’re so cute.

- Even though it was months ago, I want to etch the memory of Glory waking up from her seizures in my brain.  This week, for whatever reason, I’ve been overwhelmed with the picture. When they told us she wouldn’t wake up for days and we had no clue what she’d be like when she woke up. And I was sitting beside her, stroking her hair and reading Isaiah 61 to her. And Kristin was sitting with us and she confirmed that I wasn’t crazy, Glory was responding. And she popped her eyes open and said “mama”. That memory brings me to my knees in praise.

-       Elias is really the only one in the family who appreciates my modern, interpretive dance in our family dance hour. Whether it’s Katie Perry or Florence or Coldplay,

 he likes my creepy moves.

- One thing I want to work on and get great at is having great beds for the kids. When they look back on their childhood, I want them to remember climbing into a clean, warm, comfy bed - positively exhausted by all our living and loving.

-  Lately I’m overwhelmed by how precious my children are to the Lord, and thus to me. Layla really spurred me in this when I heard her talk about her kids. Now, even if I have to look for the precious under the tantrums and bruised shins, I search for it.

-  Yesterday I was heading out the door to go to a little girl’s breakfast reunion an hour and a half away and at the last minute Glory asked me with her big beautiful eyes if she could go with me. It would turn my blissfully quiet three hours in the car into a mommy-daughter whirlwind, but the face she made when I said, “ok! Get dressed real quick!” was priceless. She actually hyperventilated a little.

-  The kids have GREATLY improved at cleaning up lately. Thank you Lord.

That’s all I've got for now.

I love them. They’re awfully amazing. Thank you, Lord.