I should have been a soap opera star.

So - this morning Elias slept until 8:15 and even then we had to wake him up. I thought this was the day I've been waiting for since he was born, but I have to say - the 12 hour sleep actually depresses me. I had a little breakdown picking him up from daycare today - I even went so far as to cry in front of one of the daycare workers. I'm having a rough week... I think I just forgot about how easily the tears flow when you're pregnant. I walked into work on Wednesday and flopped myself on a $4,000 sofa crying like Greenlea from One Life to Live. Pray for me - for my tearducts, for my husband, and for all those who are forced to come in contact with me over the next few weeks.

While we're asking for prayers - would ya'll lift one up for this house? When we put it on the market, our realtor said he thought we'd have an offer before we got back from out of town that weekend. That was July 12th. So - we're only going on 2.75 months, but we need to make some decisions. And Elias needs some space - it's hard to get frustrated with him when he won't stay on his 4 foot square blanket with his total of 5 toys... that would bore me too if I were 7 months old.

Hilarious

So I always read alot of other people's blogs - but tonight I was captivated by the blog of Pastor Perry Noble. I started reading all of his HILARIOUS entries about his daughter before and after she was born. Seriously - for the last hour, I've been just reading quotes to Nick, so now I'll share them with you all. For reference - Perry is the pastor at NewSpring in South Carolina, his wife's name is Lucretia & his newborn daughter's name is Charisse.

'ACTUALLY…Lucretia and I have talked…she (Charisse) can date when she is 15…she just can’t brush her teeth, shave her legs, or use deodorant until she is 40!!! I think that is being fair!!!'

'A girl!!! I am so in trouble!!! I said her name today in a conversation and started to tear up!!! Oh my gosh…I’m doing it now–what in the heck is happening to me? Dear God, please don’t let me start listening to “Butterfly Kisses!!!” AHHHHHH!!'

'Well…there you go…wow, I am amazed at what I saw today. Lucretia and I walked out of the doctors office and prayed right in the lobby of the hospital…I prayed for her salvation, for us to be godly parents, for her to continue to be healthy.
When I finished prayed ‘Cretia said, “You didn’t pray for her future husband.” I said, “EXACTLY!!!”'

So all of these girl-baby quotes are extra pertinent because I have to say - I'm ready to put my vote in. I'm almost positive this baby is girl after today. My biggest clue is - My body is like a completely different life form compared to my last pregnancy. Before I even took a pregnancy test, I had to buy maternity pants when I was pregnant with Elias. Right now, my body is definitely growing - but I can wear every single pair of normal pants, I just have this massive pouch above my top button.

If you touch like 6 inches below my chest - I'm rock hard like I have Kalle abs or something, but really - it's all baby. ALSO - I had the greatest manicure/pedicure today that my friend Lauren gave me for my birthday & I had the greatest girl pampering me! Her name was Holly & she's positive this is a girl - so we'll see. Lord knows I've been wrong about plenty in this life.

Either way - this next baby WILL be wearing baby leg warmers. I always wanted to buy these for Elias but didn't want to de-man him.

My life...

My greatest joy as a wife/mother: Walking into the bathroom to hear my son & husband dying laughing together while Elias takes a bath.

Biggest stress of my life: Trying to decide whether or not to scream "Yuck! get that thing out of his mouth - it's teaming with bacteria!" because he has his rubber ducky halfway down his throat. Or do I just appreciate their good times? Hmm....

A shout out.. .& a funny dream

So, our good friend and worship leader, Gil, (who happens to be engaged to our good friend - Sid) is an amazing song writer. He's written several BEAUTIFUL worship songs & this happens to be one of my favorites.

The funny story behind it is... I've been having these horrible, crazy dreams - just like I did the whole time I was pregnant with Elias. Usually, Nick and I pray before I go to bed for my dreams so I don't wake up screaming. Last night, my dream was just WACKY. The whole family (Mom, Gib, Cara, Katie, Josh & the girls) and I were at a Christian theme park and were riding a Captain Hook ride - the only off thing was - Jesus was Captain Hook. Psycho, right? The whole time I was dreaming, however, we were singing this song and I woke up with it on my heart all day. Honestly - I'll take wacky and sweet over the ones I've had before.

Also - for some reason, Nick & Elias weren't there in my dream. For those of you that know Nick and his aversion to cheesiness you'll appreciate that when I told him about my dream he said, "I can think of several reasons why I wouldn't go to a Christian theme park, and several more why I wouldn't let Elias go!"

So anyhoo - here are the lyrics, enjoy.
Love Your Face gilgatch

Your beauty fills my sight

Your colors captivate seizing my eyes

Your hands shape and carve through the landscape
But you made me with You in mind

My heart longs to sing to you
My words look for meaning that's pleasing to you
This melody, this grateful reverie
Still falls short in thanking you

Our God is so wonderful
Our God is so great, His name
Is the hope that lights our way,
His Love is uncontained

I love your face from your smile favor falls down
You are, worthy of praise so boundless so great and so loud
I am amazed that you saved me, You saw something in me worth saving
Before I knew to choose you, you chose me and you ran to me

Everyday His Name Is the greatest Name
From age to age his
Thoughts are wonderous

His thoughts are wonderous
His ways are glorious
He dreams exquisite things
His power still reigns

I love your face from your smile favor falls down
You are, worthy of praise so boundless so great and so loud
I love your face from your smile favor falls down
You are, worthy of praise so boundless so great and so loud
I am amazed that you saved me, You saw something in me worth saving

New pictures on the 'Family Pictures' Link

I've been playing around with some of mom's vacations pics.... see what you think!

A few things on the old heart

Item #1: After having a HORRIBLE day on Thursday (a long, funny, & embarrassing story that ends with me having a heated discussion with the Vice President of Showmars Inc.), Nick and I had dinner with some friends from Mosaic - Matt & Amy Cheek. The Cheeks aren't a couple we normally see a lot, but they invited us to dinner and we were really excited to except their invitation. They have two sweet girls and are (maybe, were) very pregnant with their first son. The whole time we were at dinner, Amy was having contractions (not braxton hicks) around ten minutes apart and she had just found out that morning that we was two centimeters dilated & her doctor didn't expect her to be pregnant through the weekend. So the craziest thing - she made & served dinner, sat through dinner, and sang with her girls like nothing was wrong - all while in early labor. She was totally calm, totally undramatic - and officially my new hero. We think/hope the new Cheek baby boy is here but we can't get in touch with Matt - if someone knows, let us in on news!

At the end of dinner, Matt & Amy walked us out and Matt said, "So the whole reason we had ya'll to dinner was just to say - don't let anyone look down on you or make you feel guilty for having children so close together and so young. Not many people have a good view of children or child-rearing - but you're doing the right thing." It was VERY encouraging.

On another note: we're learning how intentional we have to be with our date nights. Tonight, we rented The Bourne Identity just because we're dying to see the new Bourne #3, but we don't want to go unprepared so we're slowing making our way through the first two.

Lastly - it was sweet that everyone had something different to say about the last blog. It is so great to know such beautiful women - inside & out. I love knowing you and learning from you. I'll keep blogging despite my lack of knowledge & grace and I'd love to keep using the women (or men who read?) as a guide to become more like Christ.

Thanks friends

Quote of the day:
(as Nick, Elias, & I sit at dinner)
Nick: So how was your day?
Me: Well, I'm having a rough day - feeling pretty bad about myself. I kind of need you to really tell me how beautiful I am and give me lots of love. I mean - just pretend like we're dating.
Nick: Hmm... okay. (he points at Elias) So where did he come from?

Driving home from dinner tonight I was thinking about blogging and why we do it/how we do it. Sometimes the thing I hate the most is re-reading my blogs and feeling like they paint the picture in a uber-positive light, when they can tend to be more dim. So tonight I was thinking - marriage and motherhood is just too hard. I'm not cut out for it. My husband isn't giving me what I need and I can never give him what he needs and I will always fall short of giving Elias what he needs and I'm hating being pregnant and getting more fat by the second.

Before you correct me and tell me how thankful I should be & how it's okay to get fat "because you're pregnant!" (trust me... if you haven't been pregnant before, DON'T ever say that phrase... it doesn't really make anyone feel better. Just say "OH MY GOSH - you're not fat, you're the prettiest pregnant woman I've ever seen!") - God already whipped me back into reality. I read Candice's blog about marriage that renewed my faith in love and how God grows it. Then I REREAD Kelly's recent blog about motherhood & our purpose in life. I KNOW I'm blessed. I KNOW I need to be constantly praising God for all He's given me. A few extra pounds for a few extra years, having to work to be romantic, a little less sleep, and a life that is not my own are more than worth the calling and life God has given me.


So here are links to both of their wise words:
Candice : http://beautiful-beginning.blogspot.com/
Kelly: http://kellycowan.spaces.live.com/

I'm really thankful for both of these beautiful women tonight and for how they helped me snap out of my mess.

Simples pleasures

Seriously - before marriage and pregnancies, I feel like my whole life was about pleasure. What do I want to eat, how long do I want to work out to be able to eat what I want to eat, where do I want to go shopping, where do I want to have a quiet time that will be the most relaxing... Even in pregnancy, I mean - we're not big drinkers at all but sometimes it can be a little easy to feel so limited - no alcohol, no carbs/sugar (diabetes), no caffeine, no Carowinds or rollercoasters, no fast rides on the tube at the lake this weekend (Gibson did try to pull K & I together at around 2.5 miles an hour until we sunk), and the list goes on...

Life is just not about that anymore, but God still makes life so so sweet. So here are my simple pleasures (not including my hot husband, perfectly made son, & wonderful friends/family) as of late:

- I'm finally getting my own computer at work today! I've been using my bosses for the last 4 months.
- On Monday, I got to go to Target all by myself for an hour and use my birthday giftcards. I found a pair of shoes I've been wanting for months - on sale for $6!
- Today I'm going to the mall with Staci before I pick up Elias to catch up on life...
- my $100 from the radio game came in last night!

Okay... I know God is good and living in His abundance should be enough, but these things have really helped this week & I'm thankful for them.

Just a quickie

I haven't given up on blogging - we've just been super busy/away from the computer for a few days....

We left Thursday to go to Lake Lure with the WHOLE Hopper/Walters family & didn't come home until Sunday. We had such a great time and Elias loved seeing his cousins. Check out Katie's blog for my updates. I'll tell some stories from that in a bit.

Today has been my first day really struggling with pregnancy. I feel okay (nausea-wise) but I am thoroughly exhausted. I just found out at my Dr.'s appt on Monday that my gestational diabetes is already flaring up, so maybe that has something to do with it. Either way, I went to bed at 10 last night and I'm heading there now even though it's only 9:15. So I thought I'd share just a few highlights from my day...

a) Nick has an awesome personality, but he's not a big laugher. Every once in a while, he just loses it laughing and he did that tonight. We were watching some hidden camera show (I mean, we only get three channels) and something just really cracked him up and he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

b) Elias hasn't really learned how to hug yet but his version is the "lazy hug". He just lays his head against your chest and spreads his arms out but you can know he's hugging you because he never usually lays still for more than two seconds. Tonight before bed he was giving me a lazy hug and Nick usually comes behind us and hugs us too. Tonight, instead of letting Nick hug us - he reached out for his daddy & made him give him his own hug. I love that we have a son who is so family oriented already... if the two of us are together near him, he likes to be touching both or seeing both of us at all time. ESPECIALLY in the morning, when he has to hold both of our hands before he'll take a nap.

.... okay more to come tomorrow.

Love.

My secret part-time job

People think I'm kidding about my addiction. It's not something to be taken lightly.

I call into my favorite radio station, 107.9 The Link, daily.

This week, so far, I've been on air three times. I've won 2 concert tickets that I'm selling (Nickelback anyone?) and I just won $100 tonight playing a trivia game.

So tonight... I started thinking.

I bet alot of people who don't even know Christ are better at being a Christian than I am. I really don't love Christian radio stations - they make me a little bitter because I don't understand why they refuse to play new Christian music - or a wider span of it. I know I'm very closely approaching the point where I can't let Elias listen to the radio with me... but then why am I listening to it? Please don't let this sound condemning to either side of the fence.... I'm just talking through this issue. It's kind of the story of my life - I love culture because God created it and I believe it can be redeemed for His glory. BUT, when do I have to remove myself from it because it just isn't helpful?

The other thing I had to consider tonight as I drove, waiting to be put on the air to play Trivial Pursuit: why do I think I have something to say all the time? I used to try & live by the phrase: Don't just say what you want to say, say what others need to hear. Sometimes our pet peeves are the things we struggle with the most and that is definitely true with me... I hate people talking just to talk and just to be heard, even if they sacrifice listening & caring about you to say it. I really do believe I'll struggle with this my entire life though. Lately I've been talking/thinking about being dramatic vs. being expressive. I'll always be expressive. A story-teller, a talker... but I never want to be someone who talks to hear themselves & who needs attention constantly.
Hmm... I'll be thinking on that.

It's an exciting week!

Tonight: Portofino's with friends for the birthday bash (Nick asked me what I wanted for my birthday and all I could think of was guiltfree-pizza)
Tomorrow: seeing Elias after a night without him, dinner with Dad, Judith, Katie & the girls before Dad & Judith move to Malaysia
Thursday: maybe taking the day off to see Dad to the airport, pack up and leave for Lake Lure
Friday: be in the Mtns./Lake with my WHOLE Hopper/Walters family for a little vacay. And of course.... celebrating my first birthday as a mom.
Saturday: continued love in the Mountains
Sunday: return home & Seton Wicker's 1st birthday party

My favorite time of day

A lot of people have been asking me how this pregnancy so far has compared to the last. That is a MASSIVE question & I could answer it in a million different ways. I've been doing a lot of praying about this baby and a lot of praying for Elias and a lot of writing about how it feels to be giving my son a sibling. However, the biggest difference is how I feel physically. With Elias, I was obviously so excited but I was sick as a dog. Mornings were bad - I was on the brink of throwing up constantly. Nights were worse - I had flu like symptoms from 5pm on... With this baby, I feel frighteningly good. Every few days I'll feel a little sick in the morning & I get queasy when I haven't eaten - but in general, God has really blessed me great health. So now - my mornings are completely different than a year ago.


In the a.m., we really could call Elias 'old faithful'. Every morning at around 7:10, we hear his first little mumblings and either Nick or I will run down and get him. We bring him into bed with us, and one of us will give him a bottle. The next hour is positively my favorite time of day. After he takes his bottle, all snuggled up between us, he'll either take a quick catnap, or jump right into the fun. He is just like his mama in the mornings, we both wake up on level ten. He'll lay in between Nick & I, making sure we're both there by keeping a hand on both of us. He snuggles and nuzzles and rubs all over us. If Nick makes the mistake of falling back asleep - I show Elias how to lift up the covers (Nick hides himself) and attack Dad with kisses, grabs, and pinches.

Every morning, I'm astounded at the love and personality of our first-born. He is seven months old and he shines with the radiance of God's creation - it's incredible. He is curious, sweet, loving, and excited. I cannot wait till there is four of us in the bed next year ... and just think, three of us will be able to tell each other with words how uch we cherish the morning.

man... my ankle is so swollen I feel pregnant. Oh wait.

So this morning, I was running around like a chicken (blah blah blah) and I had to get Elias out of the house pretty quickly because our townhouse is open for viewing from 9am to 4pm so I didn't want to overlap with anyone. I was leaving our building - carrying a Diet Coke, keys, Elias' diaper bag, and my makeup. I was almost out the door to the building when I BIT IT. Elias was fine, he never even fell, but I knew instantly that something was really wrong with my foot. I could hear some of our neighbors were home and starting screaming for help but then I remembered that those particular neighbors are hearing impaired and even though they both have cochlear implants, I knew they couldn't hear me screaming all the way downstairs. So I called Nick and got him to come home and finally hobbled out to the car so Elias and I would at least be in the air-conditioning. Elias was fine but he just looked at me like I was nuts and kept hugging my arm to comfort me. Nick came home, ran in and got all our bags from off the floor, grabbed some frozen broccoli and came to my rescue. We were both pretty stressed out, and the reason is..... we've got another little bebe on the way. We wanted to make sure I hadn't hurt the precious one and we already had an ultrasound scheduled and the result is....

Everything is great. 9 weeks. pretty little heartbeat. Elias can't wait.

The ankle, however, is not so beautiful. We'll give it a few days. It's just a bad sprain.

Love love.

Our son, the star

So the Charlotte news came to the daycare that Nick's family owns today to talk about how the heat affects children. Elias was the star -

http://news14.com/Default.aspx?ArID=585771

You know you want to:) I actually couldn't get it to load but tell me if works for you!

Some thoughts on my babes

My sister passed along some of the best child-rearing advice I've ever heard a few months before I had Elias. It ALWAYS comes back to me, probably three or four times a day. She said, when our children are children - we want them to be everything we don't want them to be as adults. For our children in the adult lives, we wish for them to be rambunctious, excitable, quick to ask questions, be exploratory, strong-willed & full of personality. However, in their early years - those are the things we stifle, or society tries to stifle, for our "convenience".

I already have to catch myself from getting annoyed with Elias or even mildly disciplining him when he shows the characteristics that I pray for him. From the day he was born, Elias was already extremely physically advanced. I know it sounds like I'm bragging, but really - he just was. Since he came our, he loves to stand... even when he was days old, when he fussed - we knew he just wanted to be standing. When he was four weeks old and we were visiting my parents in Charleston, he decided he didn't want to be held while breastfeeding, so he sat on his knees and held his lunch in his hands. Yesterday, all in one day, he began full-on crawling and pulling himself to the standing position. All he had been doing was some mild scooting and rocking on his hands and knees. All of a sudden, I turned around, and he had crawled clear across the townhouse. YIKES.

The bad parent part of me wants to be terrified and overwhelmed, but I'm trying to let the good parent fight through and see that I am blessed with a son who is dying to see the world - to experience it for himself and form his own opinions.

So here's the sad part, we do this with big humans too. I try to daily pray that my husband would grow in faith, in his love for Jesus, in his radical obedience, and in his leadership. This past weekend, he asked me to trust him in a radically obedient, faithful, and extremely frightening leap of trust in Jesus - financially. I cannot describe to you the ways I tried to fight him. I actually feel awful but I had such a hard time believing God would show up, I was sure Nick was being irresponsible. Finally - I gave in grudgingly.

Not only did Nick take care of us, I think God GREATLY blessed him for his faith. Last night, a friend who didn't know our financial situation and didn't know about Nick's act of obedience HID $50 in our house and called us after he left to make us aware of his little trick.

From now on, I'm going to try and not only pray for my husband and son - but encourage them to be as wild and crazy as the Lord dares them to be. I love that God gave me (scared, unadventurous, nervous, and pragmatic) two real men (daring, exciting, passionate, adventurous, and true).

Love love.

A new profession?

I have several dream professions. I think I'd make an awesome hair stylist, I'd love to be a personal stylist & I always think I want to do wedding planning on the side. I can't wait till I'm a stay at home mom one day, knowing all the fun places to go and spending tons of time with my babes. I ALSO fantasize about being a baker - the only difference between that profession and my other imaginary jobs is.... I cannot bake or cook to save my life.

I really want to, I have grand intentions & more creativity than the kitchen can handle. However, my food is almost borderline lethal. Literally. A few weeks ago I made a delicious (in my mind) carrot cake that actually had little razor sharp bits of ceramic in it that almost sliced Donald's esophagus open. (don't ask) The very next day I tried to redeem myself with some cookies that were so inedible, Nick left them on the counter for a few days just for comic relief. He really used to be encouraging but now he just asks me to stay out of the kitchen.

Tonight I tried my hand at homemade baby food for Elias. VERY SIMPLE.
peas. blended. in. water. How can you mess that up?
Every bite was like torture for him, until I switched back to jarred peas that looked and tasted the exact same as the ones I made.

I'm not totally sure I can take their two faces looking at me so grossed out by what I put on their plates for the rest of my life. I need cooking lessons, pronto.


On a positive note - the talented JB cut my hairs today. Very nice, pictures to come.