Four months?

The other day I just about cried when I realized that my sweet Benjamin was three months old. Then, wait! Hold the phone! I did the math and about screamed when I realized that my mommy brain had skipped a whole month and he was REALLY FOUR MONTHS OLD. I'm not sure how I've gotten so stupid but I swear to you, I don't remember all of June 2009. Not a single day. Did it actually happen? (July I remember being hot, August I remember being a little less hot and my birthday & September has just been a joy so far - but June; I got nothing.)

So I reread this blog. Oh boy, what a scary time it was a year ago this week when I found out I was pregnant. I was just scared to death. I really genuinely did not believe I could handle three children and I'll tell you the truth: some mornings, I still feel the same way but the reality is - Benjamin Haddon Connolly is one of the greatest blessings in my whole life. I don't think there is any word to describe our relationship other than boyfriend & girlfriend. This season is pretty hard, pretty tiring - but most of the best parts of my days have something to do with Benjamin. Either Glory tickling him calling him "benda" or Elias hysterically laughing with him, or the sweet minutes where we just get to stare into each other's eyes. 

So for posterity sake, let me tell you some details about this big boy: 

• He LOVES his siblings. Loves them. If he sees Elias or Glory, he can't help but smile.
• Our family calls him Benja so much that if I randomly say 'Benjamin', I feel silly. 
• His favorite song is Everything's Alright from Jesus Christ Superstar. No joke, I sing it before each nap. (just the mary part)
• Big Benja has literally no muscle tone. He's flirting with twenty pounds and doesn't roll over or sit up. I mean - I wouldn't cross him in a bar fight or anything, but he's pretty much a couch potato. 
• Both of my big-kids are suckers for their Daddy, but this one is a massive mommy fan, which I more than appreciate. He looks at me like an obsessed fan at a cheesy lovey-dovey soft rock concert and I looooove it. Too bad he has no clue I love him way more than he could even imagine. 
• In true couch potato fashion, Benjamin loves tv. If we would let him, I think he'd lay in his boppy all day and watch anything. So - he & Elias are the ones I'll probably have to ration the couch-cudding time for. 
• I think I may have been right about my Vince Vaughan prediction so far but he also slightly resembles Jack Nicholson with that sneaky smile and arched eyebrows. 

ok, some of my fave pics of my big four month old. 

I love you sweet Benja, son of my right hand. 

You bring your mama and daddy great joy & I pray that you are great before the Lord. 

I can't imagine a better surprise than you. 

Benjamin Haddon Connolly

We are overjoyed to introduce Benjamin Haddon Connolly.
He was born at 3:13pm this afternoon, weighing 8 pounds & 10 ounces.





Our c-section went really well, but unfortunately Benjamin swallowed a good amount of fluid on his way out so he is spending some time in the neonatal intensive care unit. At first he was having a really hard time breathing and it looked like that was going to be a big issue for him. Praise the Lord, that cleared up really quickly & he is only getting a little help breathing right now. His first few hours were such a fight, so he will stay in the nicu until he is a little stronger and ready to fight off Glory & Elias.

Nick & I are doing well, but we are really needing and wanting to hold and love on him. Nick got to hold him for a few minutes - but I haven't really gotten to be near him yet & that is killing me a little. He is so handsome though - so far, it seems that he DOES have the dark hair I predicted and seems to be really similar in looks to Glory! Here are a few pictures to tide you all over.

.........................................

His name means "son of my right hand" & he shares a middle name with one of our spiritual heroes, Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
Thank you for your prayers & well wishes... please keep them coming. We can't wait for you all to meet him.

preparation day

Here are the things officially left to do on my list:
- clean master bathroom mirror/floors
- clean downstairs bathroom
- put the guest bed sheets on
- wash our sheets
- change the kids crib bedding
- one last laundry load for me & kids
- put gas in the van
- vacuum upstairs
- vacuum the stairs
- write some chores for the girls
- prepare food for kids & nonny
- dust nursery
- finish packing
- print hospital directions for everyone

Last night before I went to bed, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep because my anxiety was actually like crawling up out of my throat to bark at me. I just want everyone to feel relaxed & taken care of and thus - I will feel relaxed & taken care of. For the past few nights I've been waking up sweating thinking "NEW BATTERIES IN THE VIDEO CAMERA!" or "BE SURE TO TELL NONNY ABOUT HOW ELIAS NEEDS TO HAVE HIS LOVEY & PUPPUP KISS EACH OTHER BEFORE BED!" hahahahaha, I'm not even kidding.

But then I woke up this morning and I just felt all that slip away.
Elias woke up at 7:30 and came to cuddle with me, Glory is still passed out at 8:15. Nick just said, "I guess I should get up" and I felt no need to give him a task or start him on a chore. Instead I said, "you can do whatever you want to do!" and I meant it!

If the bathroom mirror gets wiped down, great.
If I get time to make ten peanutbutterjelly sandwiches - awesome.
If not, I will make sure that at the end of today my kids feel ridiculously loved & ready for a little brother, my husband feels excited and rested, and my heart feels really ready to meet a new son.
it's preparation day.

c-section playlist final

Thanks for all your suggestions, I took some - dropped some, modified some.
If you want to feel like you're with us, download them & listen to them in this order at 1pm pacific time on the 27th. Just kidding, that would be weird.

Adele - make you feel my love
Need to Breathe - more time
Coldplay - fix you
Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
Mute Math - reset
Hillsong - fire fall down
Coldplay - strawberry swing
Glen Hansard - when you're minds made up
falls lost - (not sure what it's called, we have it labeled as track 4)
Coldplay - sparks
Need to Breathe - washed by the water
John Mayer - i don't trust myself
MuteMath - my glorious
Sufjan Stevens - all the trees of the field
Balmorhea - san solomon

suggestions, please.

I'm a planner, this fact is unavoidable.
(Interesting blog on that later this week)

So, as much as I'd love to be able to complete my lifelong goal of pushing a baby out naturally, my babes come via c-section & in all honestly, that is a planner's dream. (Or a planner's husband's nightmare) I get to plan literally every detail weeks or months in advance - inane, dumb things and big, important things. I get to write my "baby introduction" blog with the date already written. I have the advantage of packing my bag at the exact right time, and I even get to plan my kid's meals while I'm in the hospital.

Thankfully, while I'm a psycho-planner - I'm also semi ok going with the flow. I know you probably don't believe me, but it's true. The truth is, I just hate stress - so if something I hyper planned isn't going the way I planned it, I am totally fine just mixing it up to avoid stress. Example: this past weekend I spent about three hours making fondant for Kalle's shower, but when I couldn't get it on the cookies in the perfect way, I gave up and threw it away left it in Kelly's fridge, sorry Kel. This also annoyed the poop out of Kalle.

So one dumb thing I get to plan is what kind of music Nick and I listen to during our c-section. And trust me, you NEED to listen to music during that thing. The first twenty minutes is all funky noises that have everything to do with my guts and nothing to do with a baby. My past two babies & their adjoining c-sections have had VERY redolent musical memories. I can't hear Glen Hansard singing the words "raise your hopeful voice" without thinking about Glory's first cry & I love that "fix you" by Coldplay is one of Nick's favorite songs because we were listening to it as Elias graced us with his presence.

So, what should Tres be born to? I'm open to all suggestions.

The best part of being a planner who changes plans in the moment:
If you suggest things that make me cringe while
I'm being cut open, I'll quickly tell Nick "next".

projecting

I think if we're honest, all moms tend to project at least a little bit on their kids. 

Either, "I've got a soccer player in here!"

Or, "I really honestly think he'll be interested in science -

 you should see the way he stares at his space system crib mobile!"

Heck, I've already decided both of my kids favorite colors. (Orange & Purple, respectively) 

So I've projected on both my kids in utero and on both accounts, I've been totally wrong. 

Elias: When Ebug was in my belly and even his first few weeks out, I was positive that he was a studious, serious, bookworm. He just had this old man face & wise ol' eyes. Look at this face - you think he could write a dissertation for a fun afternoon. 

Now while he is smart, he's much more wily than anything else. He's got a sense of humor like no other, he likes to be a goofball, & books are just now starting to interest him. For like a second. This is much more typical E: 

Now, for my Glorygirl - since I had one cuddly, sweetheart... I pictured a girly version of Elias - just really feminine. I thought she'd want to just cuddle and paint nails all day. Imagine my surprise to find that while she does have a strong desire to wear beads to church, a fun afternoon consists of ripping the pages out of books rather than pedicures. 

Homegirl can hold her own in cagefight, & she is definitely more feisty than flirty. 

MUCH to her Daddy's liking. 

Here's a typical Glor in action: 

But while I still can, I'm going to do some Tres projecting. 

(Oops, I almost just said his name. I can't wait to tell everyone!) 

So, here's my prediction. I think he'll be something like this: 

Yeah, I said it. I think he's going to be a big baby Vince Vaughn coming out of my womb. I told Nick today every time I picture him, I picture Vince Vaughn getting handed to me with waxy vernix on his face & giving me a good nuggie on the head. I think he has the body of my Papa Powell - with octopus length arms & legs and strong desire to make everyone laugh. Dark skin & hair and a little bit of a practical jokester. 

So, I suppose we'll see. 

The truth is - he'll probably be another Nick-Connolly-clone, but 

I've got 23 days to project falsely. 

may baby

After a productive doctor's visit today, Nick and I got some news sweet to our ears.
We're having a baby in MAY. This MAY. Not June, May.
Not tonight or tomorrow, probably not next week.
But, when I look at the calendar, I don't have to switch months to see Tres' due date.
Definitely in May. The 27th most likely. 5.27.09

So here's the plan.

• I'm going to keep my bathroom clean, just in case.
• Make some plans for the kiddos & wash all of Tres' clothes.
• Work on some birth announcements - which Nick and I have decided will be more like family announcements, because when you have three kids in 2.5 years, you don't send out three. This is our first.
• Start taking large doses of folic acid again since I would still really love for him to be over 10 pounds.
  
• Cuddle my sweet two bebes day & night.
  
• Cuddle with my sweet husband day & night.
• Try hard to sleep at night.
• get VERY excited.

VERY, VERY excited.

baby day.

Woosh, it's been a baby-filled day. As if my ministry and livelihood wasn't centered around maternity & fetal goodness - when I take a day off, I have to push it full to the brim with bebes. But it's worth it.

Last night my sweet husband allowed me to go have a little spend the night with miss kal (since her husband was out of town), since we haven't done that since before we both got married and we won't get to do it again... um, ever? We talked about her twinsies, church planting, tres*, and the Lord. It was really nice.

This morning we woke up early to go to her special ultrasound and let me tell you mamas of singletons - we're ALL getting gypped. She gets to go once a week to look at every little detail of those boys! Today was her "short" ultrasound and it lasted an hour! It was amazing! Those boys are tooooo cute for their own good.

If that wasn't enough - I got to hang around Bellevue & wait for the newest Cowan boy to be born. Poor Kel & Jason (and the girls) have been fighting a bad flu all weekend, but they all made it through the c-section safe and sound! I'll let them do the official announcing on their blogs, but I can't help but tell you one big detail: he is HANDSOME. So handsome.

Then I made the drive back to the metropolis of Puyallup to play with my little ones and the whole way home, all I could think of was how excited I am to have this tres. Oh - my sidenote from before. Have I told you we've TOTALLY, DEFINITELY named him? We have. And we're totally, definitely not changing it. Just Nick and I were saying tonight how much it is him - his name. I think we'll be keeping it semi-private still, since I get weird and protective when I hear people saying my in-utero-names - but I am practicing calling him his actual name more often with family & close friends. We've even tried to get the kids to say it, since neither of them are necessarily great at pronunciation, and they're close. Definitely close. Elias will even rock Glor's doll and say the name as he pats the baby's back. Gloriana - she just yells, "puppup", bites the baby's nose and throws it down on the ground. Hm, we'll work on it.

my second endorsement

IF I was a famous money-makin' mommy-blogger, I'd be doing this junk all the time. Getting paid to endorse some great company or product & telling you how it's changed my life. Well, I'm not and so I'm not. That is - I'm not getting paid to endorse this product but I want to anyhow because I love it & the person that gave it to me!

Around a year ago, just before Glory was born, I was sitting in my new women's group - massively pregnant - looking around the room, hoping soon I'd feel at home and have some real friends. Knock, knock, knock on the door and this little blonde beauty peeks her head in to see where the lost and found is. She's carrying her sleeping little three month old and she was CUTE. Dressed cute, cute hair, and since she was so darn cute - the leader of our group just asked if she wanted to stay and do bible study with us! I was so glad she did, because I saw her and wanted to be friends with her asap!
So, now a year later, sweet Marilee is still in my life and she is cuter than ever. More than that, she loves Jesus and is a really sweet loving friend to our family. She came to play last week (with SI SI), and brought about the most thoughtful gift ever.


She'd read this blog I wrote about the tie onesie I wanted to get for Baby Tres and had someone make us one! So here is a picture of our first real item that is for Tres alone (not a hand-me-down) and here is a link to the sweet girl who made the onesie. I've been looking at this blog all week trying to pick which item I want to get next! Nick even saw the union-jack little shirts and said he wanted some in his size. Hmph. We'll see.

Two boys & a Girl.

Today was a sweet day.
Yesterday at around 4pm, I tried for the final time to see if there were any cancellations for an ultrasound before our trip this week. I guess I sounded seriously desperate because the sweet receptionist scheduled me one at 9am this morning - when they don't usually start until 9:30.

It was odd going into an ultrasound having literally no care as to what we were having, I just wanted to see all four chambers of the heart, that the ventricles were in tact, etc. etc. etc. We had gotten the call yesterday that the quadscreen that checks for things like Trisomy & Downs came back totally fine so that was just a great relief to know it wasn't a scary ultrasound ahead. We've had a good deal of those, and they're not fun at all.

We're well acquainted with the ultrasound tech at my ob by now, and we know she isn't much for small talk or excited chatter but I still did ask her to humor us and let us guess the sex. Literally, about three seconds after she put the sonogram wand on my belly, Nick and I both said - "It's a boy." He was right in position & showing us all his jewels.



While she spent about forty five minutes measuring and checking every little bit of him, Nick and I just thought about another boy and what that meant. Glory will have two protectors, she'll most likely be our only girl, Elias will always have someone to play ball with. Another handsome boy to look like his Daddy, another sweet son to cuddle with. And - oh, this one is a cuddlebug. In every shot, he is rubbing his face or laying with his hands folded beneath his chin.



He had one little, little minor blockage near his kidneys that they are going to keep checking on - but Nick and I have learned not to freak out when they promise you it is minor. Even if this blockage doesn't work itself out, it would only mean Baby Tres being on some antibiotics for a while to help his little self go peepee.

Other than that, he is just a big, healthy boy. Yesterday we also got my early diabetes check back (and it was good) but when she measured him today her first question was, "Do you have a history of diabetes?" Because he is a biggun. Big head like his older brother and long legs like his sister. I can't wait to hold all probable ten pounds of him:). I'm 19 wks and 1 day, (thought I was 20 wks, 1 day) and he is measuring 20 weeks and 6 days. And at that week's measurement - he is in the 70th percentile for body and 90th for head size. Thank you Jesus that I know I'm having a c-section. I've done 36 hours of labor with a big head and it sure isn't any fun.

So, thanks for your prayers & sweet comments. Feel free to keep suggesting those boy names, and we'll let you know the final decision around June 1st.