community

Oh, unlimited wireless internet - you are like a cool
breeze on an ac-less northwest day.

I'm at The Sings, monitor watching, so they can go on a sweet little date.
I'm not sure if they're doing me a favor or if I'm doing them a favor, I mean - they have real internet so I'm kind of praying they go on a six hour date so I can watch like six shows, write fifty emails, and read a gazillion blogs.

I'm just overwhelmed by community - how great it is.
Just to be able to drive fifteen minutes and see your best friends - if you can do that, please thank Jesus for it. It's amazing.

The company is just the beginning, though. I got to go to dinner with like ten girls last night to celebrate a special day with a special friend. We laughed and ate and talked and then I drove home in like eight minutes. Today I got to meet with my accountability group and we spurred one another on. A few friends here have blessed us with house-warming gifts, some amazing essentials and extra special things to help us get settled during this time.

I can't wait for next week - for more community.
I can't wait to be the one blessing the families I love -
watching their babes, bringing them meals, stopping by with
some flowers on a rough week.

I love community.

decorating plan

Here is our semi-settled, and yet to be decorated living room.
You will find the legend to the decorate plan below.

- Where the navy blue arrow is, I would like to place an antique/recycled
oval mirror that is painted dusty renovation blue.
- Where the pale yellow arrow is pointing, I would like to have a side table
that I sand & repaint romantic rustic yellow.
- Where the bold yellow arrow is directing your attention, I would like to hang
some colorful printed drapes, perhaps like these - but on massive clearance.
- And lastly, where you find the multicolor pink arrows - I would like
visiting friends and family to share a cup of coffee with me.

an essay on heat

Last year in my women's group we did the study, "How People Change". During that time, I learned to identify the trials in my life (and sometimes the blessing-trials) as "heat". In a nutshell, my heart started to get the idea that heat could cause grow or it could shrivel me, quickly.

These past few days in our new house have been glorious and, HOT. At New Beginnings, we had two ac window units that did a lot of cooling and I don't think I realized till we moved in just how helpful they were. It's hot hot hot in our house. It was 88 when we woke up this morning. All our kids are sleeping in the nude, with fans blowing directly into their individual sleeping apparatuses. (*sidenote for readers not from the northwest: this area of the country has decided that air conditioning is unnecessary and barely any houses have it, that's not a joke*)

So besides unpacking & trying to get our bearings, we're also coping with this stifling heat. Learning which windows to open and where to strategically place the fans. But it feels too hot to do _________. It feels way too hot to workout - when will you ever stop sweating?! It feels too hot cuddle (Elias doesn't agree, he still wants to cuddle all day). Too hot to play inside or outside, too hot to go on a walk, too hot to try and keep three kids happy.

On top of unpacking and keeping our cool, the day we moved in - Nick's car sort of broke down. What? We thought it was this, then thought it was that... finally realized it was the starter and though Nick and Shawn tried for hours to fix it last night, they just couldn't get the old starter off to put the new one on. And then, our next-door-neighbor-mechanic comes to the rescue. While I was feeding B tonight, Nick ran next door to ask for his advice and then a few minutes later... out he comes in a full body mechanic suit and climbs under our 4runner and pops the starter off in about two seconds flat. In the 600 degree heat. Not a believer, not our lifelong friend, but it wasn't too hot for him to serve us in such a nice way.

So, back to the heat/trials/blessings.
I broke down with my accountability 'sisters' last week and told them, I am a mom to my three favorite people in the world. I am a wife to my favorite man in the whole world. I consider this a high, high, high calling - a worthy one, one that I have to do right the first time.
But, it's soooooo hot. It's such a challenge.
I guess when I had two kids I didn't realize that there was still a little bit of a breeze blowing.
So this is my prayer, my answer to the Lord tonight and hopefully tomorrow.
(it only took seeing my burly-sevenfoottall-mechanic-new-neighbor dressed in a full body suit)

It is hot, but it's not too hot to serve, to love,
to leave it all on the hardwood floor
with Glory when I'm correcting her.
It's hot but it's not too hot to cuddle Elias when our sweat is forming a puddle
on the leather sofa, not too hot to pray for them/pray with them,
not too hot to smile at them while I'm making their breakfast.
Not too hot to baby talk Benjamin at five in the morning.
Not too hot to tell my husband that I love him. And to love him by the things I tell him.
It's really stinking hot, but it's not too hot.

and... we're alive

We're piled under mounds of boxes & tupperware tubs and towels, but we're home!
The past twenty four hours has been crazy to say the least but we're sorting it out.
We're now normal civilians, living in Bellevue and loving our new backyard.
Here are Glory & I at Starbucks as we've escaped to use the internet before ours gets hooked up.
More to come soon.

bring it, year five

We celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary two nights tonight early since we'll be moving on our anniversary date-day. To be honest, taking a shower and getting re-dressed and leaving Benjamin for an extended amount of time was about the last thing I wanted to do after a long day of child-wrangling and home-packing. I'm so glad I did.

He knew we might need a little supernatural help to get into date-mode, so he prayed for us as we drove out our sleepy farm "neighborhood". About five minutes into the car ride I told Nick, what happened today and what will happen tomorrow doesn't matter so much when I'm alone with him, and I definitely meant it. When we talk and pray and laugh, I feel so much closer to Jesus - so much more near to the Lord. So much more at home.

So, we summed up some things:
a) Year four was hard. There were definitely high points, there were many low points, but by God's grace - we are stronger & closer.
b) I think I may have suckered Nick into promising to take me to Hawaii for our five year anniversary. Neither of us are beach people and he has always said he would never go to Hawaii because it's too cliche, commercial, & cheesy. And honestly, I've never wanted to go either till now. I want to go to Hawaii and do all the cheesy & cliche things. I would like drinks brought to me on the beach & I want flower creations on my bed when the maids clean the room, ok? We're going to start saving soon for our little trip. Nonny and Ruby, do you want to babysit?
c) Year five is going to be amazing. How could it not be?
We're going to Hawaii.

quick, quick, quick

I feel relaxedly rushed.
You didn't know relaxedly was a word? Oh, I'm sorry.

I have about 2.25 hours at Starbucks - by myself. On the agenda: write a life update blog, spend some time with Jesus, pray & plan some for my kiddos, take a little quarter-life-assessment of where I'm headed (under my sweet husband's leadership of course) and the adjustments I really need to make. That's a lot to do in two hours, so let's get this pumping.

The main points to explain for friends and family:
- We're staying in the northwest for a little while. Basically, just before Benjamin was born, Nick heard about a great opportunity that we both knew he couldn't pass up. Mars Hill & The Resurgence are launching a new training school, Re:Train, which offers a Masters in Missional Leadership through an intensive one-year program. He had to apply and we knew it would be a massive honor to get accepted, but we took the gamble & decided to stay - because it was just too good of an opportunity for a church planter just starting out. (go read about it to see what I mean) Anyhow, this past week, he got his official acceptance email to the inaugaral class of Re:Train. He starts in August & I am super proud of him.

- Boston in still in the plans. We're not sure how long the plan is delayed, but Nick's call is still really clear. We're excited for some time to regroup and solidify our family and for Nick to learn as much as he can before he launches Gospel Community. BUT, however long it takes us to get to Boston - we'll be praying for our future city, praying for the gospel to be spread there now, & praying that our passion continues to grow for the people.

- We're moving' on up, to the Eastside. While we are so thankful for how God has grown us during our time at New Beginnings and we're so thankful for the ways the Lord has allowed us to serve here, it is time for us to move on. After weeks of searching, we found a house in Bellevue that is kind of perfect for us and is super close to our Mars Hill campus. My heart almost bursts when I think about how sweet it will be to be so near to our community. Minutes away from our church, our friends, and our kid's friends - this is going to be a really sweet time for our family.

Ok, so that's that.
If I don't blog much in the next few days/weeks - you can just picture us up to our ears in boxes & with our little ones running all around! It's going to take some effort, but once we're settled - expect lots of pictures (you know Glor & Elias are going to want to show off their new room!) and the blogs to get just a bit more regular.
love, the Connolly's.

fashion friday, the REAL dilemma

So, it's been awhile - but I'm back.
These days I don't much have time for skirts or shoes, I've got a new house to get ready for.
(where will that house be? family update blog coming soon)

And this is the real question:
WHAT kind of bedding do I get
for Elias' new toddler bed?!



a) the semi-metro/semi-expensive bedding collection that I actually
like & would flow with the decor of the rest of the house? b) the slightly-understated/sort-of-retro cars ensemble
that could make his new big boy room whimsical & fun?

or c) the super-cheap thomas the train bedding that he would be OBSESSED
with & would make him thrilled to go to bed, while it would
make you upchuck in your mouth each time you saw it
because it is well, look at it. Those train faces creep me out.

If Dad says ok, I think I'm going to have to go with option c.
It will make me want to vomit, but it will make his short-little-toddler-life.

mental & physical

I often hear it said - younger children (& babies) are physically hard, but as they grow the challenges become more mental as you work to raise them. Honestly, I've decided that having a 2.5 year old, a 1.5 year old, and a seven week old is challenging
physically AND mentally. I need help.

How about this, I'll tell you some of our less shameful struggles and a few of our successes once a week or so - and we can use this blog as a parenting sounding board. If you have advice or experience, please feel free to leave it and if you find anything encouraging - well, that's just amazing.

First, some struggles:
- Time apart. Elias & Glor are so close in age and they are literally together all of the time - they even sleep in the same room. (although - not for long) Right now, by the end of the day - I am convinced they would be doing amazing if they could just be separated for a bit, because they are literally on one another's nerves! So, any tips on what to do with a very rambunction one year old that needs to be constantly wrangled while keeping a two year old separate and stimulated (i.e. not just sitting him in front of a movie).
- Stillness during booktime. To call Gloriana active is like the biggest understatement of the year. Have any of you had super, super physically-active children and if so, how did you calm them down to read books? I would love to be able to sit and read normal books with her, but I'd also like for her to be able to enjoy her Bible time with Daddy a bit longer, but she literally sits in our laps for about 2.5 seconds before she starts saying "UPPPP PEASSEEE!"
- Gentleness with one another. Simply put, these two cage fight all day. We talk about gentleness, practice being gentle with mommy, they see their Daddy serve and be gentle with mommy all the time - and they still pummle one another constantly. Is it just a phase? When they play, I'm usually on constant hyper-awareness-mode that one of them is going to break an arm.

Some successes:
- "tartar time". This one I stole from Kelly, but a few times a week the kids get tartar time before bed; meaning Nick will play just a few songs on the guitar for them and they get to sing, dance, or play along on the play guitar. They really genuinely love it & I pray this will turn into an organic sort of family-worship time as they grow.
- cooking time: For us, 4pm-5:30 is probably the absolute worst time of the day. They're tired, hungry, annoyed with one another and just restless. So lately, I've let them "help me cook". I put Glory in her highchair and Elias either on the counter if I'm cooking something not so dangerous or in his chair. Sometimes I actually let them help (sort of) and sometimes I just give him the funkiest cooking utensils I can find ... i.e. garlic press. It gives me an extra thirty minutes to cook and then, when dinner is ready - they are more excited to eat what they've helped cook!
-youtube videos. Ok, I'm probably the last person in the united states to be excited about this, but Ruby's visit got the kids all into short videos online! It helps in a pinch, when they're bored or I just need a distraction while I feed big Benj.

ok, it took me about fifty minutes to come up with any good suggestions to put on here, but maybe you guys have some to share! Hope so, I'd love to hear!

promises

I was putting Elias in the car after a fun and exhausting
playdate yesterday and promptly told him,
"Go sit in your seat and I'll pass
you back some cookies in a minute".
He immediately scattered to the back of the van and climbed up into
his spot - looking at me expectantly.

What was so amazing to me in that minute
was that he totally believed me.
Thankfully, I wasn't lying - I had borrowed some animal crackers from Kelly and put them in a baggie for him for the ride home. But, he didn't doubt for a minute that I was really telling the truth. Right now, when I promise him something - he relies on me
one million percent to provide.

When do children become adults? When does childlike faith become adultlike doubt?
Maybe when we stop believing the things our Father promises.
here are some I need reminding of:
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his
riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
(philippians 4:19)

fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(isaiah 41:10)

And the ransomed of the LORD shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
(isaiah 51:11)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
(john 14:27)

simple enough,
amen? amen.

you know what?

I think I would blog a lot better if I didn't feel the unnecessary pressure to put a picture with each post. Who do I think I am? An awesome photographer? Maybe I'd relieve that pressure if I stole pictures from other people - you know the perfect creative window into my soul regarding whatever it is I feel like writing about. I don't think that's ethical though, huh?

I told my sister I'm pretty sure that I woke up on the wrong side of the mommy-bed a few days in a row. My dad and stepmom, Judith, have been here visiting the past few days and it's been so awesome to have an extra pair of hands and playmates for the babes, but something about a little bit of help makes me a little braindead too. It's kind of like I'm two minutes behind, with nothing planned, waiting for someone to tell me what comes next.

Yesterday in a thirty minute span, Benjamin blew out his diaper (literally poop up his back to his head), Elias woke up from a nap with massive swollen hives all over his body, & Glory managed to get her diaper off during naptime & played poop picasso. For a few minutes, I had to stand there and just sort of stare around and then I realized, "oh! this is all my mess to clean up!".

So, how do you make sure you get back on track when you're off-kilter? When there is three laundry piles instead of one, you don't remember the day of the week, your toenail polish is long past expired, and the days (and sleepless nights) don't stop coming? Here's my plan:
I'm going to pack my market tote TONIGHT rather than tomorrow morning.
Make a long list.
Consolidate said laundry pile.
Cuddle with handsome husband.

the maternal season

I was pregnant for thirty out of thirty-six consecutive months. I am very familiar with the maternal season. It begins when you stare down in amazement at two pink lines rather than one and the end of the season is a little fuzzy, but when it's over - it's over and there is no going back to that particular season, ever.

When Elias was eight weeks old, I told someone his age and I was all of a sudden flabbergasted. He had turned into our baby, and not necessarily my newborn. My body was different, for certain, but it wasn't freshly wounded by surgery and my back had long since adjusted to constant leaning over my precious boy. The maternal season was over and
I just knew I had to have it back.

When Glory was about five months old, still as little as a baby bird - with her neck craning constantly for food and for her mama, something shifted and we both knew it was time to give up the charade. My milk was like slimfast for her and feeding her was more than taking its toll on my body and so we parted ways at feeding time, at least for most of the time and boy was I sad. I missed her flat palm patting me and the familiar smell of me, her, and milk all nestled up. I genuinely enjoyed nursing her and could physically feel the endorphins hit my body when we got settled in. But, it was over. My maternal season with her had been full of rollercoasters and I reluctantly stood up, and got off. I didn't like it, I felt empty and useless.

Benjamin is still drinking his mom's milk, he is still waking up in the night for little dates with me - but today, the maternal season most definitely ended. I'd been dealing with a merciless c-section wound that wouldn't close and last night on close examination I told Nick, "I don't want to jinx it, but I think my incision is finally closed". At my six week check-up, my ob confirmed - I was finally healed and in my heart, I knew more than just that six inch line had closed. My maternal season is over, and I think - for good.

My doctor said, "I'll see you in a year for a checkup- right?", and I firmly said, "no sooner". I don't feel empty or useless or shocked by the abrupt end of something amazing. I loved this season - shocking pink lines, early labor, pelvic pain, wide nose,
gaping wound and all - but it is most definitely over.

The maternal seasons are over and now my heart can just focus on the mama season.
I won't be that girl that people can make jokes about constantly being pregnant, in fact - you won't be able to make jokes about me, because I'll be at the kids table with my brood. You won't want to rub my belly, hopefully it will be concealed and if you comment on it - I would like it to be because it is shrinking. My ankles are normal size and I won't have a stash of heartburn pills. I will have three beautiful munchers at my feet and probably a
handful of tylenol for headaches. The season is over and it feels just right.

some pics

Today is July 4th, also known as my best friend's birthday.
The big Cowans hosted a big old cookout at their lake house, but I got no good pics of
the bday girl. It was much, much fun. After I got some updated Benj pics.

he was telling me to "hush, mama".

in the south, we would call this "husky"

whose smile is that? can you place it?

you know, just laughing.

this picture is the definition of why my life is great.

summmatime.

the party.


Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!


ps: Nick and I just looked at this blog together & I seriously couldn't stop myself from laughing - dying laughing. Seriously? That picture of Glory?! What I forgot to add is that about 2 hours before we left, Glory hit her "crazy place" and just sort of growled at anything that moved and ran us both ragged. That picture defines her sassy side. Nick and I spent a good few minutes just giving our own caption of what Glory was thinking. Some suggestions:
"I told you not to take my picture in a bathing suit!'
"I will CUT you."

very blessed.