update on Abel/East Coast

So I'm pretty sure that everyone who reads my blog reads my sisters & moms as well - but just in case, here's an update on little Abel boy: After my last blog, his condition got much worse before it is now getting better! He's doing so well now that they're thinking they might not need to do the final series of steroid shots to mature his lungs. I think today they're even going to try & feed him some through his feeding tubes. The long story short is that the boy is a FIGHTER. They eventually had to sedate him because he was just working so hard to breathe & see his mama & dad that he was working too hard & couldn't keep up. Honestly - it was incredible to see him respond to Katie & Josh. When Katie sings to him, his vital numbers would drop down to normal - when she stopped and addressed someone else, they would literally double. Same with Josh. I've never seen a baby be so physically entranced by their parents.

From a personal note, it has been incredible to be back here with my mom, Nana, sisters, brother, neices, & now my nephew. Some of them hadn't met Glory and it has been such a blessing to introduce them to her. I'm really praying that Glory & Abe get to meet before we leave! That would be so, so amazing.

I know many of you have been enjoying Nick's hilarious blogs while we've been gone. Don't believe anything you read. While I know he misses us, I'm sure he's loving the bachelor life. I haven't been there to make him watch girly shows at night, he hasn't had to cook weird dairy free/soy free things for me & I know he enjoys sleeping through the night! Glor & I do really miss him and Elias, however, and can't wait to get back to them.

Here's a little preview of topics to come:
- Glory may be healed from reflux?! Agh... I'm trying to claim it.
- The book, Skinny Bi***, and how it may be changing my life - despite its awful language
- more fun stories & anecdotes from my trip back East

*** more Charlotte/Charleston/Columbia pictures under my photos ***

Joshua Abel

well... that was quick.

Katie just sneezed little Abel out at 7:05am. Katie is doing great but pray for little Abe, hes in the special care nursery for a few hours while his lungs get strong.

One hilarious story to come!

glory story pt.2

The morning of the c-section was really exciting and I felt oddly calm. I wasn't supposed to eat but I was starving so I made Nick get me a frappacino light from Starbucks because I figured it would provide the most calories while still not looking like food, in case my surgeon could see all that I'd eaten! While checking in, I wanted to keep working on my quilt for Glor, but Nick made me wait till we got to the room. Kalle & Katie were going to rush up right before we went into the operating room and I spent the two hours before Glory came worrying that they'd be late. Shawn got there a little before them and Katie came just in time to put her scrubs on. After getting all my IV's & bloodwork done, the nurse came up to me and said "okay - let's go!" I was like, alright... let's go!... thinking she'd at least wheel me into surgery. Nope - I walked - right up to the operating room. Once there they told me that Katie and Nick would have to wait outside while I got my spinal, so I made friends with the anesthesiologist quickly. I knew I needed someone to hold my hand while I got it and she helped me out:).

That's where it gets pretty fuzzy. I know I was laid down on the table, butt naked, waiting for surgery to start when Katie and Nick came in. They hadn't put the privacy screen up and I saw the terrified look in Nick's face. He said, "Um... so are they not going to put the sheet up?!", thinking he'd have to watch them slice into his wife, but thankfully they threw it up at the last minute. The spinal was really hard on me and by the time Nick and K got settled, all I could say was "sick". On my cue, the anaesthesiologist would stick the suction thing in my mouth so that when I threw up, I didn't have to heave - it just sucked it right out. Katie started taking pictures and I started worrying about her - I was scared watching a baby come out would make her have hard contractions and go into labor. But she was such a trooper...she took some of the most beautiful, sickest pictures of my insides during surgery. I'm so thankful to have them!

Nick and I shared an ipod and listened to Glen Hansard & the Once soundtrack. I remember hearing him sing, "Raise your hopeful voice - you have a choice" when they were pulling her out. I know most people think that c-sections are the painless choice, but there is a good bit of discomfort involved and I remember hearing that line and knowing they were trying to get her out because it just felt like a really intense pinching inside of me - dull, but still intense. After all the drama about her health in utero, I just needed to know that she was out and safe. During Elias' c-section, I forgot to listen for a cry and was surprised when I heard it. I listened intently to hear Glory's 'hopeful voice' and I've been hearing it almost every hour since:). If I had known what a crier this girl would've been, I might not have been so blessed by her first wail.

Katie kept taking pictures and I kept crying. I looked at her across the room and said, "she looks like me! she looks like me!"... but I only see that resemblance every few days in her now. The rest of that day and the next few are such blurs. I know Faythe, Jimmy, Kal, Shawn, Kelly & the girls, Marilee, Thadd, Silas, our pregos, Debi, Miles, and Elias were all there to visit - and of course Nick and Katie. I know something in me felt really protective of my heart against Glory. I loved her so much - so, so deeply that I was almost scared of her. Sometimes I still am scared of her in a weird way. I think in her pregnancy I just saw how much Christ becomes vulnerable for us - and how greatly that is mirrored in a parent's love for their child.

You know - another reason I think I've hesitated to write her birth story is because I realized during this experience how much birth is only the beginning. It took me a few days to stop referring to her as 'him'. It took me weeks to get really, really genuine with her and tell her how much I loved her. But she really has my heart. Her & Elias hold so much of my affection and so much of my future and so much of my love. Their births and these past two years have only been the very, very beginning of their lives and the've been the biggest and best two years of mine. I know Christ better because I see how much He loves me to bless me with them & I see how much He takes care of me when I come to him scared that I'm going to lose one, scared that I'm going to screw one up, or scared because one has cried for four hours in a row.

But all in all - I think the Connolly family story has just begun.


ps: sorry for the gross picture, I couldn't help myself!

glor's birth story pt.1

I think being around birth this past week has made me really nostalgic about birth stories, and those precious hours. I spent a lot of time detailing & timelining Elias' birth and then writing his birth story, but I never did that for Glory because I figured - simple, planned c-section... but theres some beauty & some funny in there. Unfortunately no one was writing the timeline this go-round & a lot of memory is hazy from drugs, but it's still the way I see it.

Since my first appointment with Dr. Sanford after we moved, she told me she absolutely wouldn't consider a VBAC and so we planned March 14th as Glory's debut. Even though she threatened to come out a few weeks early after a massive workout, she stayed in until that very day. The days leading up to the surgery were really surreal because it was hard to understand that I knew Thursday I wouldn't have a baby & Friday I would. That week we tried to get all the bags packed, the nursery ready, & the bassinet set-up. I wanted to take Elias to the zoo, but thought it would be too expensive so Nick and I took him to the pet store on Wednesday to do something special with just him:).

On Thursday I went to small group as usual... it felt weird to tell all of them, "I have one son named Elias, tomorrow I'll have another - Glory". We were all still sort of meeting & introducing ourselves. We didn't go out to to lunch because I wanted to race back and spend time with Elias and finish Glory's quilt. I did both and around dinner time Elias got REALLY fussy, which made me feel weird & worn-out already. That night, Kalle came to spend the night & we went and picked up my sister. Up to that point, I honestly was just so anticipatory about Katie coming... even driving home from the airport - I just felt the need to pause and catch up with her for a few days, not add more to the mix. We got home around ten pm & Katie was really worn out so we just sort of crashed. I remember debating about whether or not to take my dark nail polish off, but I was so tired - I just passed out.

The next morning I woke up around six-thirty, showered & curled my hair and went to go wake Elias up. I remember telling him what a special day it was and I really enjoyed that last hour with him before we left for the hospital. I kept reminding myself & him that I was giving him the greatest gift I could as a momma. And then it was off to the hospital for Nick and I...

thankful Sunday

I officially got the go-ahead to go visit my dear Ruby when her manchild comes. Thanks to Jesus for coming through with an unexpected donation, thanks to my husband for giving me the okay, & thanks to my mom for praying so hard.

Kendra had her precious baby this morning who we call "Cadence", but her adoptive parents have named her Kaianna Grace. She is a true beauty & Kendra is a true BIRTH WARRIOR! She is my actual hero because she did the entire thing naturally and she was 43 weeks and 4 days pregnant when she delivered! She has literally almost been pregnant an entire year. Pics to come.

Also, not only did I survive this weekend with my kiddos - I loved it! I loved every second of being with them. I really did miss Nick but it was so empowering to see that I love being a mom of two, even on my own, and even when it is really hectic. Marilee and si-si came down and we all took a trip to the hospital to visit Kendra during labor, Elias and I played and played and played. Glory and I looked at each other alot and admired one another's beauty.

Lastly - while I was missing my husband like NUTS, I was trying to be strong and not text/call him a ton and tell him that. But last night at 11:30 when I was laying in bed watching "The Family Stone", I got a text that said "one question: want to cuddle?". Five minutes later, I heard Nick pull up! He had driven home early from his trip to spend the night with us and go to church as a family. Ugh - love him.

Wait wait - one more. I'm really thankful for God providing in silly ways. Financial security means different things to different people. We've been big spenders before, we've been in debt before, but now we're huge budget people. Because we live off of support, my husband is really careful about watching how we spend our money. But tonight was really freeing for me. We've never really bought our kids tons of clothes because we've never had to. People have always showered Elias and Glory with gifts and we've bought them a few things here and there - but not a lot at once. This weekend I realized that Elias had no shorts and very few t-shirts so I told Nick we needed to buy some. Also, Nick has never really bought summer clothes and he always sweats his head off. So tonight, I'm thankful for God's provision - that for the first time since we've had kids... we could go to Target and pick out clothes for my boys. Reasonably priced, within the budget, and very good looking. Thanks God.

not scared

Its my first weekend alone with two kids.
Kendra is getting induced tomorrow and Lauren will be with her, but im not scared.
I plan on taking deep breaths, laughing with the kids, & doing a lot of praying for Kendra. Thankfully sweet Marilee & Silas are coming to visit so we will have some company.

Im excited to feel like a real mom of two & for 48 hours lose the safety net of my stay-at-home husband.

mothersday photoshoot up:)

Check out the "Our Pictures" link. They're not too flashy but they include Nick & Glory laying around, Elias and I getting freaked out by a horse, and Elias and I taking pictures of ourselves.

puppies & porcupines.

"hes like a teddy bear"
but truly hes not.
more loyal
more fickle
more charisma than me.

"Shes like a porcupine",
but thats not really fair.
more precious
more delicate
more treasured is she.

she hates the sun
and he loves to run
right out of my arms and into some trouble.

she loves mamas smell
he heeds daddys stare
but we all giggle on top of my covers.

her breath on my nose
his hand on my knee.
i feel honored & needed & peace.

potential, hope, future, & truth
stare back at me from under
his lovey.

grace, faith, beauty, & life
nuzzle right into
my chest.

in just a few moments
the floodgates will open.
more fear
more doubt
more uncertainty.

but Jesus for now
keep me close to these babes.
more time
more love
& more You for me.

mothers day so far

I was awoken to... well, crying glory:
About an hour later we had an amazing breakfast in bed with the whole family: Nick and I had our gourmet breakfast (sans dairy) that he made, Glor had her bottle of stinky supplemental formula, and Elias had waffles & soy milk (someone has to drink the surplus of the bulk soymilk we bought).

Then I got a corsage (even though we both knew I wouldn't wear it) and some tulips. This afternoon Nick offered to let me go anywhere I wanted but unfortunately the prescription I'm on to enhance my breastfeeding had made me a wild lunatic and I could barely keep my eyes open - plus Glory's reflux was acting up.

We spent the afternoon at the park playing with the kids and now I'm going out with the preggos to celebrate with them - we're going to see "baby mama". Tomorrow we'll go to church, go to brunch with Kal & Shawn, and I think tomorrow night Nick and I are attempting a date without any babies:).

And lastly... a shout out to my favorite mom of all time - MINE. She is amazing and the greatest and I love and miss her more every day. Love you mama.

praise god!

just a quick blackberry update:
glory gained eight ounces in three days! as of monday she had only gained six ounces in three weeks! she jumped from the fifth percentile to the tenth! yay!

also, something to make you smile: nick and i cannot escape babies! the birds that live in the attic space inside our barnhouse bedroom just had chicks. were trying to think of as a neverending nature cd.

it's her party

Thinking about glory makes me laugh.

As of today she is a BEAUTIFUL, smily, giggly little baby who looks alot like her brother & mama. As of two days ago, she was a BEAUTIFUL, screaming, pissed off little girl who resembled her brother when we tell him it's time to put away his soccer ball & go night-night. Long story short - Nick and I were trying to tough it out and believe that she was just a little bit harder of a baby and we'd be okay. We'd laugh at how cranky she was and make jokes about how she's obviously got her mama's temperment, but all along - in the back of our minds we were worried there was something wrong with her.

After we took dairy out of her (and thus, my) diet, she seemed to be doing good for about 48 hours. Her skin cleared up, her poop looked good, and she was nice for two days. Then her screaming came back with a vengeance. She'd cry for three or four hours every night until she finally passed out... then it began to leak into the daytime - crying so much we knew she was missing feedings and not growing enough.

So on Monday we took her to see her pediatrician (whom we LOVE) and after testing her poopy diaper, concluded that not only is she allergic to dairy - she's also allergic to soy. Since I went off dairy I've been eating everything soy - soy milk, soy mac & cheese, soy burritos, & soy pizzas. I'm actually not kidding. On top of that, Glor has a nasty case of reflux, so she's going to need to be on zantac for a while.

Since Monday though... we've seen a normal baby. Nick even commented, "I remember this... babies who cry when they are hungry and tired, and that's it". For the past eight weeks we've been holding her constantly, trying to pacify her, switching her back and forth... on and off, trying to make her smile. Now, even in the middle of hungry crying - she'll look at her dad and smile so big when he sings to her... she'll stop mid-breastfeeding, look at me and grin. Right now, as I write, she's napping and I didn't even have to psychotically lull her to sleep - I just put her in the bassinet and she passed out.

We know a change like this deserves a big "thank you JESUS".
Expect more blogging from me, because my hands are now a little more free.

Is it seriously already Sunday again?

So - no, I know it's actually Saturday night but it's almost Sunday. Last Sunday is the last full day I really remember feeling like I was alive. Let me give you a brief update of our lives since my last post.

When Elias finally quit throwing up and Glory was back in bed, Nick and I sat back against our pillows and sighed with relief. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my cell phone light up and I immediately started laughing - with two girls 40 weeks pregnant, I knew our night was nowhere near over. Sure enough, Mickaela's water had broken.

The next forty-eight hours are blurry. I know I got the virus in diarrhea form, Glory got it in throw up form, Lauren got it in throw-up form, & Debi (who runs our ministry) got it in diarrhea form. Mickaela spent 28 hours in labor and eventually had an emergency c-section. (Her sweet baby girl is beautiful)

Our kids have cried & whined for countless hours and between the two of us - we've gotten barely any sleep. There were some sweet moments - Anaya Grace is beautiful & Mickaela is adjusting really well. Marilee made us so many great dairy-free delights that I've been munching on for days. I had some sweet Jesus time at small group. Kalle and I got to hang out for two days in a row, and we haven't for weeks. Also - I got to some awesome phone conversations this week. One HOUR convo with my sis, a good talk with Merry & and a nice update with Luh Hood.

Sooooo... a summary of the week:
- Our ministry here is hard, but so good. Especially when babies are born.
- I am now a germaphobic freak. Watch out for me & my Lysol can.
- I officially miss Charlotte/family intensely. Officially. Intensely.
- My mom was right, when it comes to kids: "One is none & two is twenty." And I'm adding on to that phrase - "When you all get a virus - you want to slit your wrists." Oh wait, that doesn't rhyme.
- Lastly, I'm really glad blogger is letting you write blogs & post them in the future because when I do have time to write, I always want to write like three at a time and then I don't have time for a while.


(ps - here is beautiful Anaya. Look for more new pics under Our pictures Link)